Berto's Book Bonanza
Reading Rainbow was once my Grindr username.
Books weren’t always my entire personality. That really began in 2014 as a way to get through a rough break up.
As someone who did not grow up with friends, I filled my time with horses and books about them. I’ve borrowed, read, and memorized every single one of Marguerite Henry’s books. The workers at the Arden Barnes and Noble knew me as the boy who would call about The Phantom Stallion release dates.
When I began high school and the academic rigor of my coursework increased, reading for pleasure took a backseat. There were still some great books during this time, though. Some of my favorite books were required reading, including East of Eden, which I reread every few years.
In college, I read a total of 5 books for pleasure: Bossypants, Stud: Adventures in Breeding, and The Hunger Games trilogy. I would feel guilty whenever I read anything that wasn’t directly related to my classes so my love for books continued to atrophy.
It wasn’t until the end of 2014 when the aforementioned break up shook me to my core. I remember talking to my sister Alex on the phone and wallowing in my loneliness.
“I feel so pathetic. I chased him away and it’s taking way too long to get over him. I’m so lonely and I compare every new guy I go on a date with to him.”
“It’s okay, brother. I know you’re sad, but it will pass. You should work on yourself for a bit. Become the person you’d want to date.”
The person I’d want to date would read books for fun. So I did.
I began with a copy of The Sun Also Rises I bought because I liked the cover art. It was fine. I didn’t really get it and I think I should revisit it, to be honest.
But okay, that’s a start. The next book is what really clicked with me. Smoke Gets in Your Eyes is a non-fiction book about the American funeral industry and our culture’s views of death. It was illuminating and I could not get enough. I’ve been a devout follower of the Order of the Good Death since and I’ve been able to meet Caitin Doughty a few times.
Soon after I finished that book, I set my New Years' resolution for 2015. Read at least one book a month. In the years since I made this goal I’ve read over 200 books.
Books have been great for my mental health. I found that in order to really absorb a book, I have to quiet my mind and focus on the material on the page. It is such a nice break to have someone else’s words in my head for a change.
Another great thing I’ve picked up from this hobby is an appreciation of independent bookstores. When I’m traveling alone in a new city I find an independent bookstore to visit on my first day. I always ask the employees what they would recommend for tourists to do and eat while visiting and I’ve never been steered wrong.
Like music, some books just take me back to a certain moment in time and I love to keep them as talismans from my past lives.
I have a particular book on my shelf that I will never read but I love it so much because the author signed it while we were laying in bed together. He then passed the book to his husband, who was also in bed, and he signed the book’s dedication, which was written to him. An iconic afternoon.
Many people have told me they loved the book reviews I used to post in my Instagram stories and that’s really what propelled me to start this newsletter. There are so many books I’ve enjoyed but I’ve never written about on here.
The piece at the end of this newsletter is for some of those books. 29 to be exact. It is a Leap Day after all.
February Book Reviews II
The Bullet Swallower: 5 stars
What I liked about this book: I love a book with two different and complimentary timelines and this book had that. This was the first Western I think I’ve read and I loved that it took place in the border towns between Texas and Mexico.
Who I’d recommend this book to: People who like One Hundred Years of Solitude; people who are trying to atone for the mistakes of their ancestors; people who like westerns.
Medium of the book: An e-book borrowed from the Sacramento Public Library
Judging a book by its cover: I love it. I would buy this as a print in my home.
The Jockey & Her Horse: 5 stars
What I liked about this book: This is not my typical genre of choice (young adult) but I read this because of my personal relationship to the subject matter. This book is about Cheryl White, the first Black female jockey in the United States. I had no idea she was such an important person because I only knew her as one of my dad’s friends.
Cheryl was a jockey in the Northern California county fair circuit, which is where my family’s first racehorses would race. She rode several of my family’s horses and became good friends with my dad.
She passed away a few years ago and a Breyer model was released last year in her honor. I recommend watching this feature about Cheryl from Good Morning America to learn more about her. She was special.
Who I’d recommend this book to: People who want to learn about different Black-American history; someone who’s in the mood for a light and easy read; Horse Girls and Boys.
Medium of the book: An e-book borrowed from the Sacramento Public Library
Judging a book by its cover: I’m over blush and all the other millennial pink derivatives, but I’ll give this book a pass.
The Bookshop on the Corner: 4 stars
What I liked about this book: This book made me want to move to Scotland. It was kind, sweet, and felt like a warm hug. This book was one of Emma’s favorite things and I completely understand why. If this newsletter suddenly stops, it’s safe to assume I’ve run away to the Scottish Highlands to start a new life.
Who I’d recommend this book to: People who dream of quitting their jobs and moving to a new place for a fresh start; Book people; hopeless romantics.
Medium of the book: An audiobook borrowed from the San Diego County Library. Highly recommend the audiobook because of the wide range of British and Scottish accents.
Judging a book by its cover: I say this lovingly: it reminds me of a Lifetime movie poster.
My favorite people’s favorite things.
I love the Celebrity Shopping lists on The Strategist. Last month I bought Simon' Rex’s jump rope and Laila Gohar’s stain remover. Here are some of my favorite people’s favorite things.
Another great thing about books is talking to your friends about books. One of my absolutely favorite people to talk about books (and Kate Middleton conspiracy theories) is Emily.
The first time I met Emily was at a tour guide party. She was dressed as a dinosaur and I was dressed in a toga. The year was 2012 and I was still deeply in the closet. During this time any time I would confuse friend-crushes with romantic-crushes and I thought I was in love with Emily.
The romantic feelings dissipated as soon as I found out she was in a relationship but I’m so glad the friendship persisted. Like so many of the other people featured in this newsletter, I think Emily is the absolute coolest.
She has lived in DC for over a decade now and I think the fact that our friendship has continued to flourish during this time is a testament to how special I think she is. She was one of the first people I came out to and one of the first people I texted after Collin and I got engaged.
I’m a big believer in the phrase “show me your friends and I’ll show who you are” and I am honored to have Emily be one of my friends.
Collin and I have begun our wedding planning in earnest this month and we both said “Emily’s wedding” for the vibe we’re trying to achieve. The vibe is full of love, fun, and joy, which are also words I’d use to describe her.
So, without further ado, I’m honored to share Emily’s favorite things as told by her..
Vaseline: Starting off strong with something I use daily, several times a day. After one too many bad reactions to regular chapstick, I needed something that could moisturize my lips without causing a freak out on my face. Vaseline does the trick! And it comes in these nifty small containers, that have somehow ended up in every purse, backpack, pocket that I own. I live in Washington DC which has very dry winters, so anything to add hydration to my life is a must-have. You may catch this theme again later in this list...
Metro Card: I am a huge fan and proponent of public transit! I didn’t own a car for the first 7 years living in DC – we only got one so my husband could get to work during the height of the COVID shutdowns. The DC metro system gets a lot of flack, but it’s not nearly as bad as people make it out to be. They also finally caught up and now allow you to use your phone as your metro card. Even more convenient is NYC which lets you use Apple Pay (or the android equivalent) to pay your fare. Easy peasy!
Library Card: As the granddaughter to a reference librarian, I am embarrassed to admit how long it took me to actually get a library card, but now that I have one, I have “a ticket to the world” as my Grammy says. DC has an incredible library system, and I’m lucky enough to live down the street from a recently remodeled branch. DC is also home to my favorite library: the Library of Congress (it’s also my favorite tourist spot in the city). If you’re ever in town, I highly recommend a visit. And if you ever plan a trip to DC, I’m happy to provide recommendations for fun things to do, restaurants, and more! The city has so much more to offer than just boring government buildings and fraught politics.
Time limits on Instagram: This is a feature I learned about in the depths of 2020 when I couldn’t stop myself from doomscrolling. For those not aware, you can set a time limit for specific apps and iPhone will alert you when you’ve hit the limit. Do I often tap “ignore”? yes. But has it made me more mindful of how much time I spend on this wonderfully addictive app? Also yes.
Normal Gossip Podcast: I think I bring this podcast up anytime podcasts are mentioned. I’m not a big podcast listener, but when I just want a juicy hilarious story to listen to, Normal Gossip is my go-to. Each episode features a special guest and a fresh story of gossip submitted by a listener. The gossip ranges from farmers market drama, to conflict at a dog salon, to specialty orchids. There has not been one episode I didn’t enjoy. Listen where you get your podcasts! Like and subscribe!
Michelin restaurant guide: This really should be “when my husband uses the Michelin restaurant guide” because he is the one that plans 99% of our meals. He is bougie and I like to dabble, although am frugal by nature, and this guide never fails. If you’re afraid of the prices, not all Michelin restaurants are expensive (especially in Europe – maybe I’m bougier than I realize) and the guide includes restaurants that don’t have a Michelin star, but are highly rated. And who can really tell the difference anyway? It’s a little known point of reference that can really add that extra pizzazz to your trip or a night out in your city. It’s like the sophisticated big sister of Yelp.
Tiny Love Stories from NYT: Every week or so the New York Times posts a series of paragraph-long love stories. They are perfect bite sized stories about romantic love, platonic love, and family love. Most of them are heartwarming and endearing with the occasional tear jerker thrown in. They’re a nice reminder of all of the love in the world, when we are so often faced with the opposite in media.
Kiehl’s Ultimate Strength Hand Salve: Here comes the hydration theme again. In the winter, my hands get DRY. If I did nothing, they would certainly crack and bleed. I’m also sensitive to strong scents, so it was a long search to find a product that didn’t have a strong smell, didn’t leave my hands feeling greasy, but also provided the moisture I needed. I picked up a travel size of the Kiehls hand salve and my life has never been the same. Kiehls usually has sales, and you can usually find it at a discount at Nordstrom Rack, but even at full price it’s worth it. If you do like scents, and are feeling like a splurge then I recommend Diptyque hand salve (my husband is obsessed with this stuff), it smells glorious, it’s just too much for me to smell all day.
Nuun hydration tablets: As a newly pregnant person living in dry winter DC I am constantly trying to hydrate. Recommended by my ultra runner sister-in-law (she runs ultra marathons – she is not to be fucked with), these Nuun tablets have been a huge help. They provide hydration like a Liquid IV but with less sugar. So far the tropical flavor has been my favorite.
Hash brown patties: I don’t cook often, but breakfast is my domain. And I love hashbrowns. Actual hash browns are such a pain to make at home, so we started using hash brown patties instead and I can’t get enough. I would eat them at every meal if I could, but we usually save them for the weekends as a special treat. They are so easy to cook in the pan or in oven and are a win every time. My favorite brands are Cavenidsh or Ore-Ida (Trader Joes are subpar but work if needed), and if the store doesn’t have them, go for the golden crispy crowns from Ore Ida, they crisp up better than tater tots.
Bonus: I couldn’t finish a list without encouraging everyone to adopt a cat. Apparently, most of them are trying to plot their owners murders (see the last newsletter, and my cat seems to have many of the same proclivities) but damn they are a joy to have. I like to think I played a part in convincing Alberto to finally get on board with adopting Martini because of my own cat, Wenwen. (Editor’s note: she did!) Please check out her Instagram because she’s too cute not to be shared with the world. And although she is a designer cat, we adopted her! Go to a local shelter and get yourself a furry roommate (I’m talking about a cat, but you do you)!
Alberto’s 29 favorite books
I am a frequent GoodReads user. It is my favorite social media app. I have a shelf on there for my favorite books and I just realized there are 29 books on there. Serendipitous. Shout out to Kevin, a future favorite person, for this idea.
Here are top 29 books in no particular order:
A book for when you’re gay and sad: Swimming in the Dark
A book for when you’re gay and sad, but want a happy ending: The Song of Achilles
A book for when you’re gay and want to experience the whole range of emotions: The Heart’s Invisible Furies
A book to read when you want to learn about a historically misunderstood part of the United States: Demon Copperhead
A book for anyone with a dark sense of humor and a fascination with the Hollywood industrial complex: I’m Glad My Mom Died
A book for anyone who would appreciate a retelling of the Book of Genesis set in Northern California: East of Eden
A book for anyone who loves a long family saga / historical fiction: Pachinko
A book for people who miss their Grandmas: Nobody Will Tell You This But Me
A book for former husky section shoppers: Here the Whole Time
A book for when you question Americans’ death customs or have considered going into the funeral industry: Smoke Gets in Your Eyes & Other Lessons from the Crematory
A book that should be required reading for anyone from Sacramento: Slouching Towards Bethlehem
A book for when you want to be emotionally destroyed and then built up again: Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow
A book for when you’re gay and you want a romance with some meditations on death thrown in: Under the Whispering Door
A book for when you want to learn about the complexities of passing: The Vanishing Half
A book for the gays and the girls who love them: The Rachel Incident
A book for when you want to read something that created an entire genre and remains one of the best pieces of Latin American literature: One Hundred Years of Solitude
A book for when you want a slow burn with an unexpected but satisfying ending: Great Circle
A book for when you want to change how you interact with the world: True Biz
A book for when you need a reminder to take yourself seriously because you are inherently valuable: My Beloved World
A book for when you wonder if the crystal is really making a difference or if it’s just a placebo but either way it’s okay because you’re happy with the result: Wellness
A book for anyone who needs a kick in the butt to remind them that most people ain’t shit so what the fuck is stopping you?: Olga Dies Dreaming
A book for anyone who wants to know what it’s like to grow up gay in the California desert (like Collin!): Desert Boys
A book for when you love your family but also are anxious to get away from them whenever you see them in-person: The House of Broken Angels
A book for when you want to call out the absurdity of academia: Disorientation
A book for anyone who wants the magical realism of One Hundred Years of Solitude with the family dynamics of Olga Dies Dreaming: Sharks in the Time of Saviors
A book for when you want to watch a juicy mess unravel in front of you: Yellowface
A book for when you need to be reminded that your problems will follow you no matter how far you run away: Real Life
A book for when you just want some great short stories: Hall of Small Mammals
A book for when you need to be reminded that you’ll never stop learning, no matter how old you get: Less
