Jesus Year
Last week, I googled what Jesus’s estimated body mass index (BMI) was when he was crucified. That’s where my mind is as I enter my 33rd year.
I usually release this newsletter on the 15th and last day of the month but yesterday was my birthday. This year I gave myself the gift of procrastination so you’re getting this a day late.
Writing a birthday newsletter is challenging for me because I’m not a big birthday person. I don’t hate my birthday, but it’s not a day I look forward to. I think that has to do with the date. It almost always rains on January 15th. It snowed once.
I spent that snowy birthday sitting alone in a Dairy Queen dining room in Paris, Kentucky. I had been in the Bluegrass State for less than a week and I hadn’t made any friends yet. “You chose this. This is what you wanted,” I told myself as I stared out the window at the snow.
Ten years later, I spent January 15th in the sunshine. Collin woke me up with a homemade latte and a lox bagel. We drove to the San Diego Safari Park for a private tour he booked for me so I could finally see a Przewalski’s horse. There was one horse in particular that I was excited to see. Kurt, a four-year-old stallion at the Safari Park, is the world’s first cloned Przewalski’s horse.
Przewalski’s horses went extinct in the wild in 1969 and all 2,000 of today’s horses descend from the 14 horses that lived in zoos throughout the world.
Except for Kurt. He is a clone of a stallion that lived at Safari Park and died in 1997. He never sired any foals, so his DNA doesn’t exist in today’s population. The San Diego Zoo’s director of conservation at the time (Dr. Kurt Benirschke) created the Frozen Zoo and began collecting DNA samples of endangered animals. He hoped that one day technology would advance to the point where deceased animals could be brought back. Very Jurassic Park.
Kurt was born in 2020 and will be introduced to the breeding herd later this year. It’s an exciting time for conservation and advanced reproductive technology. There was a time when I was pursuing this branch of science, but unfortunately I was one of the poor students who was “weeded out" by the upper-division chemistry courses.
But hey, that’s life. The last decade has been an emotional rollercoaster, but I’ve landed in a good spot. According to the plan 23-year-old Alberto had in that lonely Kentucky Dairy Queen, I am supposed to be on a racehorse breeding farm somewhere in Kentucky. Instead I’m 33 in San Diego, waking up next to the man I love and the cat that tolerates us.
What I’ve learned over the last 10 years is that few things will go according to plan. Move forward with good intentions and be grateful. Growing old is a luxury. Just ask Jesus.
January Book Reviews I
The Heaven and Earth Grocery Store: 4 stars
What I liked about this book: This book reminded me of The White Lotus in that it starts with the discovery of a skeleton and the whole book is leading up to the reveal of whose skeleton it is. Great writing that kept me engaged the whole time.
Who I’d recommend this book to: people who like murder-mystery aspect of The White Lotus; people who are looking for great books written by Black / Jewish authors.
Medium of the book: A hardcover purchased from Pegasus Books after I had 4 margaritas at my office holiday party.
Judging a book by its cover: I like it, though I’m unsure who is on the cover. If you’ve read this book, please let me know who you think it is.
My favorite people’s favorite things.
I love the Celebrity Shopping lists on The Strategist. Last month I bought Gavin Rossdale’s salt and Leslie Odom Jr’s chocolate.
This is my newsletter and I’m allowed to be my own favorite person.
So without further ado, it’s time for my favorite things:
Xyzal: Do you want to know how I know god isn’t real? What kind of god would give me an allergy to grass and hay at 12-years-old? I developed a severe allergy to everything horses eat when I was in middle school and have been miserable every spring since. I think Xyzal is the best allergy pill on the market right now. Claritin can go fuck itself.
Health-Ade Kombucha: My animal nutrition professor said the key to happiness is at least one bowel movement a day. The older I get the more I agree with Dr. DePeters. Gut health is wealth and I find that these kombuchas are the tastiest way to help my gut biome. They are delicious and they scratch the soda itch I sometimes yearn for. My favorites are the Cayenne Cleanse, Carrot-Blood Orange-Ginger, and Pomegranate.
Beautiful Book Accessories: I love beautiful things and am more likely to complete a task if I have beautiful tools. I love a book with a beautiful cover, but ultimately my time with it is short. Do you know what is constant, though? A beautiful bookmark. I am obsessed with my current one that I picked up in Santa Barbara last month. Other things that fall under book accessories include a nice book light and an arm that holds my Kindle above me when I’m in bed. I have optimized every part of the reading experience and it’s why I’ve been able to read so many books over the last few years.
Cerave skincare: I used to have intense acne that was a result of binge drinking and working outside with horses (the universe clearly wanted me to break up with horses). The acne persisted even after I stopped doing both things. It wasn’t until my sister suggested that I switch to Cerave face wash that my skin finally calmed down. I feel at my most luxurious when I slather on Cerave moisturizer every night.
Snacking Cakes by Yossy Arefi: This book healed my relationship with the kitchen. Growing up in a restaurant family, most people assume I am very confident in the kitchen. I am not. The problem with growing up with such excellent cooks in my family meant that I never had to help in the kitchen. I credit this book (and Collin) with helping me build up my culinary confidence. The olive oil pumpkin cake and powdered donut cake are my two favorites, but I will happily bake you anything in this book.
TSA Pre-Check: I am very good at the airport. I was on over 30 flights last year and I have perfected every step of the process. I have different luggage depending on the duration of my trip (2 days or less & 3 days or longer) and travel-sized versions of all of my skincare. Need a travel pillow? I suggest this one. But ultimately the single best thing I’ve purchased is TSA Pre-Check. I once ran through the Philadelphia airport without shoes on because I was stuck in a long TSA line. I vowed never to repeat that mistake and booked a TSA appointment the following week. It’s almost always a breeze and you don’t have to take your shoes off. I will never travel without Pre-Check again.
Breyer Horses: By now you all know that I’m a Horse Boy. Breyer horses were my favorite toy as a kid and I’ve always had at least one in my home. I bought another one last year that has some personal significance to me. There is a painting by renowned horse painter Orren Mixer that I loved as a child that shows the breed standard for Appaloosa horses. I wanted to live in that painting. Last year Breyer came out with a model of the horse from the painting and I bought it immediately. It lives on a bookshelf next to Collin’s candles.
Nude Portrait: I had a nude portrait comissioned of myself in 2022 and it lives in my bedroom. I had to stay still for 3 hours and it was an exhilirating experience that I highly recommend. I have had a complicated relationship with my body and it was healing to think of it as art. I love that I did this because one day I will look at it and think of how hot I was in my youth.
The Kindle Paperwhite & Libby combo: Although I prefer actual books, the Kindle is an excellent reading experience and I love how easy it is to carry. I recommend the Kindle Paperwhite Kids edition because it’s the same thing as a Paperwhite but it’s cheaper and comes with a cover. Libby is the best app ever created and I think everyone should download it.
Birkenstock Lugano sandal: Living in San Diego means I’m in sandals for most of the year. I used to be a Rainbows flip-flop stan but I’ve since matured into someone who has opinions on Birkenstocks. I bought the Luganos because Collin already had the classic Arizona sandals and I try not to match with him as much as I can. I get compliments every time I wear these, which is amazing considering I have Fred Flinstone feet. If they can make my hooves look good I’m sure they’ll do wonders for yours.
