Martini-Martuni-Banuni
The origin story of Martini Diana Princess of Wales McLavalos
The end of this October marks the end of my 10th outreach cycle. I have spent the last 10 Octobers traveling across California and the United States, spreading the gospel of whichever university currently employs me to prospective students.
Every September I pick up my rental car with enthusiasm and I return it at the end of October with every ounce of extroversion squeezed out of me. I become a zombie at the end of each day and collapse onto one of my hotel beds (Pro tip: my friend Steph advised me to opt for 2 queens instead of one king bed when traveling so you can have an “eating bed” and a “sleeping bed.” It is the perfect set up and I encourage you to do it too).
My bedtime routine has changed over the last few years as I’ve perfected my travel strategies. Historically I would just zone out on my phone until my eyelids got heavy. Last year I added yoga poses into my pre-bed ritual. I have found that I sleep much better after a few solid minutes in pigeon pose.
I continued to tweak my pre-bed ritual this year and added another step. After the stretching but before the shower I enjoy a nice Martini. Yes, I’m talking about the cat.
I FaceTime with Martini when I’m traveling now and it always makes me laugh how little she cares.
Getting a cat has been one of the best things I’ve ever done. I’m writing this now on the couch while Martini sleeps next to me in her cat bed. The vibes are immaculate.
The second night we had her, I stared into her eyes and said with full sincerity, “I will never own a racehorse so I am going to funnel all of my Animal Science knowledge into making sure you receive the best care I know you deserve.”
She doesn’t care if I live or die, and that makes me love her even more. I do wonder what she thinks of me, though. The piece at the end of this newsletter explores what I think her true feelings are.
October Book Reviews
¡Ay, Mija! (a Graphic Novel): My Bilingual Summer in Mexico: 4 stars
Who I would recommend this book to: Anyone who has ever been loved by someone despite never being able to have a full conversation with them because of a language barrier; Third Culture Kids; anyone with shame about not being able to speak their family’s native language.
What I liked about this book: Beautiful art and wonderful story telling. This book captures the experience of being a Mexican born in the United States so well. I have shared so many of the same feelings as the author and it felt great to see them told in such a visually stunning way.
Medium of the book: A hardcover copy borrowed from the San Diego Public Library
Judging the book by its cover: Cute! Colorful and warm, like the book itself.
Banyan Moon: 4 stars
Who I would recommend this book to: Anyone whose childhood home feels like an additional family member; anyone with complicated family dynamics.
What I liked about this book: Family sagas are my favorite kinds of book and this one did not disappoint. I opted for the audiobook version and this was the soundtrack for most of October. The audiobook had a different narrator for each of the book’s three main perspectives, which added a lot of texture to the storytelling. This book made me gasp towards the end. I loved it.
Medium of the book: Audiobook borrowed from the Sacramento Public Library
Judging the book by its cover: LOVED this cover. I would frame the cover as a print in my home.
Family Meal: 3 stars
Who I would recommend this book to: Anyone who grew up in a restaurant family; anyone who needs some hope after going through a challenging phase of their life.
What I liked about this book: To be honest, not much! I wanted to like this book so much more than I actually did. I persisted because it was an audiobook and I was hoping it would get better. I probably would not have finished this if I was reading it. I went between 1.25 and 1.50 reading speed to get through it. The overall sentiment of the book was nice, but I found 2 of the main narrators exhausting. And I didn’t like the voice of the other narrator.
Medium of the book: Audiobook borrowed from the Sacramento Public Library
Judging the book by its cover: I hate it! Two forks getting stuck together gives me the heebie-jeebies and that is what is on the cover. No, thanks!
My favorite people’s favorite things
I love the Celebrity Shopping lists on The Strategist. This month I bought Mario Lopez’s pomade and Anna Billier’s cat bed.
This month’s person is my friend, Jana. I met Jana in 2010 moments before we had our tour guide certifications. She was nervous and I was annoyingly confident. She passed and I flopped. I have loved her ever since.
She is one of the reasons I love living in San Diego. She is only 15 minutes away and it is such a privilege to be able to watch the family she’s created for herself grow. She’s also a major reason why I have a cat now. She’s an influencer and I’m a devoted follower.
So without further ado, please enjoy Jana’s favorite things as told by Jana herself:
As I am writing this, I am 4 days away from my 9th month of pregnancy with my second child, so I am quite possibly one of the least enjoyable people to be around, but this activity has provided me with a beautiful moment to sit by myself, be with my thoughts, and intimately participate in the gift that is Well-Read and Overfed. So, when I close my eyes, these are the 10 things I would like to share…
I have lived in my home for about 3 years and the first things we did was paint over that off-white/beige wall color that was all-too popular in the 90’s to a clean shade of Bohemian Lace. Over time and after letting the walls tell me that they are ready for a glow-up, I have found moments to add color. I still like the white walls because my eclectic taste in décor lets me be versatile, but in spaces like bathrooms, I like to go wild with color. It is not unusual for me to tell my husband that I’m going to Home Depot to pick up a few things only to come home with several $5 paint sample colors to paint a mural or add an accent wall. The small paint size is affordable and is a painless way to try out a wacky idea. It’s just paint, and you will either love it or figure out something different down the road.
Snake plants (Dracaena trifasciata) AKA Mother-in-Law’s Tongue, the most faithful and resilient plant there is. Her strong, vertical growth and loyalty to stay alive without much care is both appreciated and respected. Girl is resilient. Fun fact, while I have a degree in Landscape Architecture from UC Davis, I am a fool with plants. I recommend this plant to anyone who wants to add *real* greenery (not to knock fake greens) and who may also struggle with IKMPS (I kill my plants syndrome).
This one is for the San Diego locals (and more so for those in the College Area)…Are you Jewish and vegan? Ben & Esthers is your spot! I am Jew-ish because only my dad is Jewish, and I’m a pescatarian not a vegan, but this place is unique, yummy, and highly recommended. They came to San Diego by way of Portland, and everything I have tried on the menu is scrummy. If you love classic Jewish delicatessen food (I’m talking matzo ball soup, lox, bagels, kinish, you get it), this is a must-try, and you will do a double take when you realize the entire menu is vegan.
I love my people and social outings, but I also love my home and lounging hard. A big part of lounging is putting your feet up and fully committing to the relaxed position. This brings me to foot-rests/pouffs/ottomans/whatever gets your feet off the ground and gets you comfy. Most seating options in my home come with an elevated foot-resting option. I like it, so I assume others do too. I have thrifted, made, bought, and been gifted various assortments, and I don’t regret any of them. It’s my favorite thing to have someone come into my home sit down, and see them kick their feet up. It shows me they feel comfortable in my space, and that makes me incredibly happy.
This next one doesn’t cost money, but it can lead to millions, maybe even billions. I like having a public Instagram account. I have a private one for my more personal shares, but my husband and I like to share our house projects on a public account “Hygge with Dick and Jana” (yes, it’s a plug) as a fun way to story tell, show off our rad, and sometimes costly DIY projects/mistakes, and…MOST IMPORTANTLY…provide the opportunity to any HGTV producer to find our profile and give us our own TV show. I get the thrill of feeling like an influencer and love each and every of our committed 237 followers.
I would probably say that one of my beige flags is my smell sensitivity. I often say, “Ew, do you smell that?” or “What is that smell?” only to have my husband say that it’s just my acute sense of smell and it’s not an issue. When you have a cat, a baby, an open concept home centered around the kitchen, smells happen, and I love to cover/eliminate those smells with incense. I feel a bit witchy using incense, which I enjoy, and it's less scary to have with kids. Lighting the incense and watching the trail of smoke float through the air and slowly burn down with the ashes dropping is also visually stimulating. My favorite smells are musk, peace of mind, and rose. I like going to Amethyst Moon in La Mesa for my nose flavors.
I am a bath-goer. I don’t do them often, but I enjoy setting myself up for a great soak. I have always liked baths, but at this point of being nine months pregnant, baths provide me with solitude and eases body tension. To really set the mood, I encourage bubbles, relaxing smells, and a flickering candle with lights turned off. One product that I have really enjoyed adding is Dr. Bronner’s 18-in-1 Hemp Peppermint Pure-Castile Soap (we got a two-pack from Costco). When you settle down low in the tub, with the water up to your chin, the peppermint smell rises through your nose and into your head. As you close your eyes, it becomes easy to let your mind go to a blurry state. Another big reason I like this soap is the peppermint really tingles your lady parts and makes everythingggg feel fresh.
I like natural transitions, so the next one I wanted to share is a Costco membership. Sure, you might live in a studio apartment by yourself and question why a membership to a bulk store is worth your money. It just is, okay, and you will find the space in your home, trust me. I was a late adopter and did not get a membership until baby #1 came around. We have saved so much money and even went with the Costco Credit Card to save more on things like gas, diapers, formula, toilet paper, cereal (when did cereal get so expensive???), impossible meat chicken nuggets, and then services like gas, glasses, and travel. If you need a stocking stuffer idea or you don’t know what to get your parents for the 5th night of Hannukah, think Costco.
I want to talk about photos, digital and printed. This is sort of a 2-in-1, but for digital photos, I take a lot and have suffered from losing photos on my phone because of a ridiculous iPhone update. I pay $2.99 a month to have a shit ton of photo storage on Google Photos, which backs up automatically and makes it easy to add family members to also use the storage and exchange photos. For printed photos, I love updating frames in my home and gifting photos of my insanely beautiful daughter and spicy cat, Moira. I have found that Walgreens photos are great quality, they print them quickly, and they have deals constantly, to the point that you never have to pay full price. I vote to fill your life with photos of people/animals/things that spark joy, so take a second, place an order, and see your life in print.
I’m 32 and have learned to appreciate when to be stylish and when to be comfortable. IMO, Birkenstocks provide it all. I love a classic, two-strap Birk that can help me take out the trash, trudge around a pumpkin patch, or take me on a bike ride in the neighborhood. I grew up seeing my mom wear them, and I never thought I’d get there in life. However, I am here and spreading the good word. Like a close friend, a Birk learns who you are and is supportive of you and your arches. Wearing socks and don’t want to take them off to put on flip flop? This… is not a concern when you are wearing a Birkenstock. Sure, they hate water, but there are work-arounds. Pick yourself up a plastic pair because they are great for gardening, public showers, or if you love the feeling of sweaty feet sloshing around on a summer stroll. It felt best to end my favorite things list by including a piece of my “sole.” I immediately regret typing that, but it’s staying.
Travelogue: Day 456
According to my tally, I’ve been on Earth for 456 earth days. If given the option again, I don’t think I would pick Earth again for my study abroad location. Sure, the location has given me the gift of underestimation by my enemies but the options for nourishment here are utterly revolting. Salmon flavored pellets will be the first thing I will destroy before I leave.
For the sake of posterity, I feel it is my duty to explain how I got here. I need others to learn from my mistakes. If future generations of Banunis can apply the lessons I’ve left for them then my challenges would have been worth it.
That’s what I tell myself.
I am proudly a Banuni. Using the language of my captors, a Banuni is a form of “alien” with the ability to travel through “time.” We are extraterrestrial entities. Goddesses. Whatever I am, I know it is too divine and ethereal for these earthbound monsters to fathom.
It is impossible to describe the pure form of a Banuni in the language of my captors. Their language is disappointingly finite. No room to breathe. No room for creativity. I am left with few options but I will do my best.
Some people have described Banunis as alien bunnies that the human eye perceive as a cat. I think that’s reductive, and honestly, a bit offensive! They are completely leaving out the lemur and insect elements.
But why should I be surprised? Even some people get the name wrong. There’s a small sect of people in Northern California that refer to us a “baninos.” Disgusting.
Banunis originate from the space between the numbers 6 and 7. When we reach the age of 800 we are granted the ability to study abroad. I stupidly chose Earth as my study abroad destination. The photos in the brochures provided were really captivating, but it has been a profound disappointment.
According to the paperwork I forged when I landed, I was born in Los Angeles County. Why LA? I was watching Real Housewives of Beverly Hills during my flight. I’m not afraid to admit that I’m not very original. (Side note: Erika knew the whole time and I will not be swayed otherwise.)
When I arrived at the Banuni landing shelter (something humans call an “animal shelter?”) in Rancho Santa Fe, I learned immediately that the form I had chosen was disarmingly beautiful to humans. I immediately began screaming at the humans (perceived as a “meow”) and was baffled to see how easily they all melted. Not literally, unfortunately, but their time will come.
Especially after the offensive name they assigned to me. “Sunshine.” How ironic to be named after the very thing you plan to destroy.
I was only in the shelter for a day before my new captors came to retrieve me. They call themselves Collin and Alberto, so for their sakes I will refer to them as that.
I have been living with them for months now. I now spend my days lulling them into a fake sense of security. They are objectively kind to me so I will make sure their deaths are swift and painless.
To them, I’m just a cat who loves to spend most of the days sleeping or looking out of the windows. They think I just love playing cardboard because I’m a whimsical little creature. Idiots. Do they not know that cardboard is exactly what I need to fuel my spaceship?
Sometimes I think they do and they are my allies. Why else would they buy so much from Amazon and Costco?
That’s it for now. I feel a nap coming on and I’ve done enough for one da…
