My favorite bites of life
Around the world in 31 bites.
I think the best part of existing in a modern human body is experiencing a varied diet. For most animals, eating is purely a biological need for energy and they subsist off of a basic diet. Pandas famously eat only bamboo. I love that humanity has decided to channel their capacity for artistic expression and creativity into creating delicious bites of food.
Please think about what your favorite bite of food is. Is it crunchy? Is it soft and does it melt in your mouth? How many ingredients are in that bite of food? What does the bite sound like? Is it a bite or a slurp? What is the best temperature for your perfect bite? What does that bite smell like? Which memories are sparked by that bite?
I am constantly chasing the next best bite of food. I measure the success of a trip by the number of bites of food I remember.
I have compiled my favorite bites of food from the world into a list at the end of this newsletter. The Best Bite Index is a living document and will be updated for as long as I can live and breathe and order an appetizer for the table.
July Book Reviews II
Burn Book: A Tech Love Story: 4 stars
What I liked about this book: Kara Swisher came onto my radar when I began listening to the Succession companion podcast, which she hosted. This book is essentially a history of Silicon Valley told through her perspective as the journalist covering the tech beat. She has witnessed and criticized the absurdity and arrogance of the tech world for years and it was a fascinating listen.
Who I’d recommend this book to: people who work in tech; people who would like to know how we got here with technology; people who want personal anecdotes about Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, and all the other tech monsters.
Medium of the book: Audiobook
Judging a book by its cover: I didn’t know what Swisher looked like until I saw the cover of this book. I want to be her friend.
The Charm Offensive: 3.5 stars
What I liked about this book: I liked that this book gave a deeper understanding of how the trash reality TV I enjoy gets made. I have literally watched sausage being made so I appreciate any behind-the-scenes content I get.
This is probably the tamest gay romance novel I’ve read so I wouldn’t recommend it for people who like the romance books for explicit sex scenes.
Who I’d recommend this book to: people who enjoy M/M romance novels; people who have wondered about what the producers asking their favorite reality stars questions during the confessionals are like; people who want a romance novel with a lead who struggles with depression; people who want a romance novel with a lead who is neurodivergent.
Medium of the book: Audiobook
Judging a book by its cover: Cute, but it was explicitly stated in the book that Dev wears Chuck Taylor’s and those white shoes on the cover are not Chucks.
Henry, Henry: 3 stars
What I liked about this book: This was a tough read! TW: incest and sexual assault. Usually I do not read books with either of those things in it, but this was a compelling retelling of Shakespeare’s Henriad set in mid-2010s England. I took a 6-week break from this book before picking it back up to finish it.
Who I’d recommend this book to: people who enjoy modern retellings of Shakespeare; people who are fascinated by addiction.
Medium of the book: E-book borrowed from the library
Judging a book by its cover: I liked it! This informed my mental image of Hal. My heart broke for that pale man on the cover.
My Favorite People’s favorite things.
I love the Celebrity Shopping lists on The Strategist and the “10 Essentials” videos on GQ’s YouTube channel. I think you can learn a lot about people based off of their favorite things. This recurring segment highlights some of My Favorite People’s favorite things.
I knew when I sat down to write this newsletter that it was going to be delicious. It had to be - this is the Maribel edition.
I met Maribel on a Friday night at The Lark in Santa Barbara. She was the first family member Collin introduced me to and I knew it was a big step. This was his tia, one of his nearest and dearest people, and I was nervous to finally meet her. I was also excited because of the way Collin described her. She sounded like a person I would be friends with out in the wild.
Any nerves I had were immediately melted away by her warmth. I was met with open arms and I understood right away why Collin has such a special bond with her. I will never meet Collin’s mom but I have met the pieces of her that live on in other people.
When I was single and thinking of what my life would be once I finally found my future perfect man, I never imagined the friendship I would develop with his aunt, but here we are.
Maribel is aspirational for me. I want to develop a palette as refined as hers. I want to be as well-traveled as her. I want to be as kind and warm as she is. I want to make people feel like the way Maribel makes me feel.
We all deserve a Maribel in our lives.
She is clearly a favorite person and I’m so glad she is now officially one of My Favorite People. Enjoy her words after my favorite photo of us.
Let me start by saying how special I feel to be a part of this newsletter. Alberto joined our family several years ago, as Collin’s delightful plus one, and he will be an official member in a few months although at this point it is just a formality. I enjoy this newsletter so much because it has filled in so much of Alberto’s story and I get to know about what books I should order if we haven’t yet discussed them. I love him more each time I read one.
Around the time he began this newsletter, he mentioned that he would like me to share my top 10 at some point, so being me, I have been keeping a mental list since. I hope I remembered everything. Next month, I will remember the ones I kept on the mental list that I forgot about while typing this up. It has been a good mindful and reflective exercise for me. Without further ado and in no particular order.
Meditation and breathing practice: Meditation has been part of my life for years now. Like children who regularly nap and sleep well, I am a different person when I am regularly meditating and spending at least 10-15 minutes breathing and being in my body. I tend to be the cranky, irritable child who missed their nap or didn’t get enough sleep when I miss my daily practice or it begins to dwindle. Unfortunately, my husband, Travis, can probably vouch for this. Stress and irritating situations can either greatly impact me (when I am not spending enough time with myself) or I am calm enough to notice them, feel them and move on.
Many apps can help get you started with meditation and breathing. Headspace is probably one of the more common ones. If I ever use an app these days, I use Insight Timer. An additional note here is that working with a Somatic therapist has really upped my meditation and breath work. If you know me well, you know I am no longer shy about vocal breathing when I need to ground myself.
Smartwool socks and products: I love all my Smartwool socks. I started with hiking socks and now even have ones for jogging. Their shirts are perfect for chillier days and their undergarment pants and shirts are amazing when you go to colder weather.
Dry brushing: I dry brush my entire body most mornings. My skin is so soft and I feel like it helps my immune system (this may just be a placebo). It is a nice treat for my skin and my wellbeing. You can find dry brushes at Target and most health food stores. They are about $15.
Human bodily pleasures: As a human, woman, mother, partner and sex therapist I feel strongly that we all deserve better sex education. Learning about our body, how it works, what feels good, what doesn’t is important in not only connecting with yourself but being able to connect with others. Although I can go on forever about this topic, I will share my favorite sites and books for this topic. Scarleteen is a great sex education site geared towards teens but wonderful for all. If you have a vulva, I love Come As You Are. If you have children Sex Positive Families’ have great resources. I also love following SexEdwithTy and QueerSexTherapy. If having better sex education for all is important to you, donate to Siecus.
Roast Chicken: First an apology to all the vegetarians - you may want to skip reading this section. I roast a whole chicken probably once a month. I grew up with a mom who cooked daily and dealt with animal proteins that were not already “sanitized” and cut up for you. I feel comfortable working with and taking apart most proteins. I have been working on my technique with fish lately.
A roast chicken is a simple way to get delicious and juicy (you’re welcome Kirsti) chicken for two to three meals depending on how many people you are feeding. I like to slow-roast mine. The way you decide to season it or prep it doesn’t matter in my opinion. Salt and pepper are all you need. If you decide to add more, it’s just extra flavor. Your home will smell delicious and whoever you share it with will thank you. If you don’t have hours to roast your chicken you can get similar results in less time.
You can do a million things with leftover chicken. I recommend removing all the meat from the bone when the chicken is at room temperature before you store the meat. Save your bones in a bag in the freezer if you want to make homemade broth later. You can make anything from pasta to chicken tostadas to Avgolemono in the winter and more!Canned Tuna: Here is another staple in my kitchen that packs a whopping 30 grams of protein per can! I love canned tuna because it can be a quick and healthy meal for lunch or even dinner. Make a simple salad with leftover cut-up veggies, olives and/or capers and a simple vinaigrette, add it to pasta, make tuna salad with or without mayo, or stuff poblano peppers with it. In college, I made quesadillas with it and added ranch and salsa. The possibilities are endless.
Good pair of jeans: I have a bit of a problem with jeans. I live in them and “collect” them. My niece recently had me count how many jeans I have and I will keep that number between us. I still have jeans in my collection from the late 90s that I occasionally wear. If you like jeans, please consider that your jeans are an investment and will last you a lifetime. This is how I approach my jean purchases.
Altra running/hiking shoes: There are a lot of problems with our shoes these days. I began learning about zero-drop shoes from the person I work out with and multiple PTs as they started helping me with my posture and the ways I walk and jog. Although I occasionally wear heals all of my jogging and hiking shoes are zero-drop which helps the mobility of my ankles, who need a lot of help. Altra is my favorite zero-drop brand. I have jogging shoes and both the trail running and hiking shoes. If you live in my home, you own at least one pair of Altra’s. We show them all off when we travel as they are great travel tennis shoe.
Fasting: The thought of missing a meal or fasting was laughable most of my life. “I’m sorry for the unkind words I spoke in hunger,” was regularly said or should have been regularly said. I wasn’t always aware that I was hungry when I was angry. It all gets very confusing. Anyway, I began fasting several years ago with quite a bit of anticipatory anxiety about how I would make it through by just drinking water or liquids with no calories. What I can say now about years of fasting is that I am much more attuned to hunger. Sometimes I don’t fast if I feel hungry but most days it is a cinch. I rarely feel hangry and I feel really good in my body.
Phone Wallet: I recently got a new case. I love it. It holds a credit card and ID and that is all I need. Put it in my pocket and I am off for the day. Go get yourself one.
The Best Bite Index
The Best Bite in Baltimore, MD: The Jumbo Lump Crab Cake from Rusty Scupper
The Best Bite in Berkeley, CA: The classic lox sandwich on an everything bagel from Boichik Bagels
The Best Bite in Budapest, Hungary: A lángos (fried dough covered in a garlic-butter sauce, sour cream, and cheese) from any street vendor you can find.
The Best Bite in Chiang Mai, Thailand: a plastic bag filled with unknown mince meat purchased from the Chiang Mai Night Bazaar. When asked how you’d like it to be seasoned, just tell the vendor that you trust them to season it how they like it.
The Best Bite in Charlotte, NC: The raspberry-lemon tart from Amelie’s French Bakery
Desserts are best eaten alone in your rental car while listening to a podcast (October 2019) The Best Bite in Davis, CA: The pepperoni pizza from the ASUCD Coffee House (CoHo)
The Best Bite in the Disneyland Resort: A jalapeno-cream cheese pretzel eaten after riding Space Mountain
The Best Bite in Durham, NC: A white pizza with soft egg, trumpet mushrooms, chiles, arugula, parmesan from Pizzeria Toro
The Best Bite in Edinburgh, Scotland: Fish and chips served to you by a Spaniard with very muscular arms on the Royal Mile
The Best Bite in Fort Worth, Texas: The queso from Joe T. Garcia’s
The Best Bite in Glen Ellen, CA: A croque madame from Les Pascals
The Best Bite in Koh Samui, Thailand: Tornado potatoes purchased from a street vendor
These potatoes helped me get through the week following the 2016 election (November 2016) The Best Bite in London, England: Sweet potato & mung bean fritters served with cardamom and lime yoghurt from NoPi
The Best Bite in Los Angeles, CA: A potato ball from Porto’s
The Best Bite on Mill Valley, CA: Pollo al Horno (boneless, skinless chicken thighs marinated with oregano & garlic then baked) on a fork with some white rice, a piece of fried plantain, and covered in the incredible Pique hot sauce from Sol Food.
The Best Bite in Oakland, CA: Sesame paste hand-pulled noodles from Shan Dong
The Best Bite in Paris, KY: The grilled chicken club sandwich from The Rock Cafe, a combination cafe / Christian bookstore with free Wi-Fi that I would use for Grindr.
The Best Bite in Portree, Scotland: The Tri Pizza from Gasta Pizzeria
This meal was paid for by Jana and Emily as an engagement gift, which made the meal even better (June 2023) The Best Bite in Prague, Czech Republic: a quiche lorraine from Bakeshop Praha
The Best Bite in Sacramento, CA: A piece of chile verde quesadilla dipped into refried beans and rice from El Novillero
The Best Bite in San Diego, CA: an al pastor taco from The Taco Stand
The Best Bite in San Jose, CA: Shrimp ceviche from La Costa in the evening after a hot summer day
The Best Bites in San Francisco, my favorite food city:
fancy: the roast chicken from Zuni Cafe
affordable: the chicken salad from Souvla
pastry (sweet): a morning bun from Tartine Bakery
pastry (savory): the ham and cheese croissant from Arsicault Bakery
The Best Bite in Santa Barbara, CA: the Hangover Noodles from Empty Bowl
The Best Bite in Uig, Scotland: assorted chips purchased from the Cowshed Bunkhouse front desk
The Best Bite in Vienna, Austria: A soft-boiled egg yolk spread on a croissant at Cafe Central
The Best Bite in Yellowstone National Park: a hot dog eaten in the Old Faithful Lodge after a long day of frolicking through meadows
The Best Bite in Zalatitán, Jalisco: Doña Martina’s picadillo tacos
Please use the message function below to tell me what your favorite bite of food is and where I can find it.