Race Relations
A portrait of the artist in three racehorses
Although my birthday is in January, I’m not the month’s biggest fan. Sure, I love the reset it provides but most of the month feels like a prolonged hangover. I feel like the year really gets moving once January ends.
January has been a month of reflection and setting up myself for an exciting 2024. A trip to Yellowstone has been planned and I am giddy at the thought of riding a horse while I’m there. I keep pulling up the Alaska Airlines app to stare at my plane ticket in anticipation.
Montana and Wyoming have been bucket list locations for me for as long as I can remember. I finally get the chance to be a cowboy in Montana and I cannot wait to wear my gigantic belt buckle.
Earlier this month I spent a few days visiting my parents in Northern California. I hung out with my parents and some wonderful friends during the quick trip, but the highlight was finding some old photos. I brought some back with me with plans to have them properly framed and hung up in my home.
A brief description of three of them is at the end of this newsletter. Enjoy.
January Book Reviews II
A Short Stay in Hell: 4 stars
What I liked about this book: This book left me stunned. When I finished it, I put down my Kindle and said, “wow, what the fuck?” to my empty bedroom. I don’t think I liked it but I think a lot of people should read it. This would be an excellent book club pick. Oh! I definitely liked how short it was. A quick read that I finished in a day.
Some parts of this book devastated me and it is not a happy book. But even then, some parts made me laugh out loud and I was left with a glimmer of hope at the end (but that could just be some toxic positivity on my part).
If you end up reading this book, please let me know. I would love to talk about it. Shout out to my wonderful coworker Jessica for recommending it to me!
Who I’d recommend this book to: people who enjoy discussing what they think happens to us when we die; anyone who attended Catholic school.
Medium of the book: An e-book borrowed from the San Diego County library.
Judging a book by its cover: I liked it for its artistic merit but it took on a different meaning once I completed the book. Bleak!
The Falcon and the Foe: 3 stars
What I liked about this book: I liked how short and predictable this book was. I needed something light after the book about hell and this was delicious fluff. I was a little disappointed by the sex scenes, which is honestly why I read it. The author overused the word “bucked” and it took me out of the story once I noticed it.
Who I’d recommend this book to: people who want to read about two single gay dads who are devoted fathers and also very horny; anyone who’s ever fallen down the “scout master” porn genre rabbit hole.
Medium of the book: An e-book from the Kindle Unlimited trial that has yet to lapse
Judging a book by its cover: OH MY GOD IT’S BAD. IT’S SO BAD. It’s laughably cheesy.
My favourite people’s favourite things.
I love the Celebrity Shopping lists on The Strategist. Last month I bought Simon' Rex’s jump rope and Laila Gohar’s stain remover. Here are some of my favorite people’s favorite things.
One of the best compliments people can give me is to tell me I’m witty. There are two people who I credit with helping me cultivate my sharp sense of humor: my sister Esperanza (who will be featured in April) and my friend Hani. I have been trying to keep up with Hani’s wit since 2010 and she is my absolute favourite person to banter with.
We met when I became a tour guide during first year at university and I remember the moment I became enamored with her so clearly. She was hosting a tour guide party at her house and she invited me to bike with her. Although nothing is far in Davis, that bike ride felt like it lasted forever. We spent the whole ride getting to know each other and I developed a huge, throbbing friend-crush on her.
One time Jana and I spent the night at Hani’s childhood home and I discovered her mom wearing the cowboy boots I left at the front door. It is one of my favourite memories from all of university.
She has lived in Singapore since 2016 and she makes me a more cultured person. I mean, I say things like “first year at university” when I write about her. A REAL CLASS ACT.
So without further ado, here are Hani’s favourite things as told by her….
Using the English spelling of things even though I am American, simply because I live abroad in Singapore and I like humble bragging about it in day to day speech. I’m converting. My boyfriend is English and the amount I mock the accent but secretly try to adopt it would be racist if he wasn’t white. I think maybe it still is actually. I don’t know.
Rain. It’s not because I’m trying to be edgy. It’s because I am so perpetually overstimulated so that when it rains, it’s sort of a “keep your head down” kind of scenario where the expectations of you are reduced by about 10-20%. Plans may be cancelled, you certainly aren’t expected to go outside. It’s like being sick enough to call in sick to work but not sick enough to have a bad time about it.
Reminding people I moved abroad and will never return.
Getting older. I thought it’d be shit but it’s insanely fun. My back hurts but I’m so much more confident than I was in my 20s, even though I was such a beautiful thing then. I’m 30 lbs heavier in body but way lighter in mind.
Fancy soap, the fanciest, and putting it in the guest bathroom so people think you’re the type that has so much fancy soap you can put even buy it for the guest bathroom when really it’s your only soap.
Gen Z. I love them. I fucking love them. I work with teens and I love them (no not in an Epstein way). This generation is absurd. They all refuse to have anything less than pristine work life balance. They are empathetic to causes beyond their own because of seeing it on social media. They accept genders and sexualities so effortlessly and I can wait until this generation leads the world.
Ranch. I love ranch. Did I mention I live abroad? Well it’s really fucking hard to get ranch here. Thanks for respecting my privacy during this difficult time.
Being a regular at places. I’m a creature of habit and I just love when you become a regular. At your gym. At your coffee shop. Taking the same bus so the driver recognises you (in Singapore, 30% or fewer have cars so you take public transport everywhere. Actually that should be my next thing.)
Really really good public transport. Better for the environment. Love zoning out for half an hour on my commute.
Alberto. Thanks for remembering me and being my friend after all this time. I love you. (Editor’s note: I love you, too. Thank you for doing this.)
A portrait of the artist in three racehorses
Racehorse 1:
Win For Pat, a chestnut Quarter Horse gelding born in California in 1985.
Age of the artist at time of this photo: 19 months
I am the baby held in the arms of the man who looks just like me. I don’t know who most of the other people are in this photo, save for Ruby Thomas, the woman in green. She and her husband Ray were my family’s first racehorse trainers. Some of my earliest memories take place on top of a hay bale in one of their barns.
I love this photo because it’s such a fun family portrait. My sisters were dressed in matching outfits for most of their childhood and it’s on display in this photo. When I talked to my dad about this photo he said he remembered that day so vividly.
My mom was in the restroom during the race and my dad ran in, frantically looking for her. “The horse won!! We have to go get our picture taken!!”
Although I’m just a baby in the photo, it’s clear that I was already a Horse Boy.
I have no idea why the horse was named Win for Pat.
Racehorse 2:
SV Blue Tornado, a grey Quarter Horse gelding born in Oklahoma in 1997
Age of the artist at time of this photo: 8
This is one of the best days of my life. My dad and I drove down to Orange County to watch “my” racehorse win his biggest race up until that point. This photo was taken around the time I began to get bullied for being “too girly.” Horses were legitimately my only friends and I was an encyclopedia of horse racing trivia. Even though I was only 8 at the time, I knew just as much about horses and horse racing as many of the people in the photo. I know this because they would repeatedly tell me this.
The UC Davis seed was planted during this time. When I told people I wanted to be a vet they would say how lucky I was to live so close to Davis and that I should go there one day.
SV Blue Tornado was named that because there was already a horse registered as “Blue Tornado.” In order to be registered under that name, the horse’s breeder just put his initials at the beginning and called it a day.
Blue came from the color of the horse when he was a baby. Grey horses are born a dark color and begin to whiten as they age. When the horse was a year old, he looked blue.
Tornado because he’s from Oklahoma.
The shirts jockeys wear are called “silks” and are designed by the owner. The silks in this photo are hanging in my closet. Tragically they don’t fit, but I keep them in hopes that one day I will lose enough weight to be “slutty jockey” for Halloween.
Racehorse 3:
Kathy’s Song, a bay Thoroughbred mare born in Kentucky in 2014.
Age of the artist at time of this photo: 26
April 2014
I met Kathy’s Song the evening she was born. I held onto her hooves while I pulled with her mom’s contractions. She was one of the 43 foals I delivered that year. She was in my top 10 of favorites because she was very sweet and I liked her mom, Strawberry Sense. Racehorses are not usually named until they’re ready to race so all the babies on the farm were referred to by their mom’s name and the year they’re born.
So I knew Kathy’s Song way back when she was still Strawberry Sense ‘14.
September 2015
I was traveling alone in Vienna when I realized the Keeneland September Sale was happening. This was the sale where most of the foals I delivered would be sold. I looked at the catalog and made notes so I could tune in to watch all of them sell via the livestream.
The day Strawberry Sense ‘14 sold was the night I met Alejandro. Alejandro was my boyfriend during the last 2 days of my stay in Vienna. We were inseperable for 36 hours and it was magical.
So magical that I lost track of time. I woke up in his bed and asked him what time it was. When he told me, I realized that I had missed Strawberry Sense ‘14’s time in the sale ring.
“What’s your wifi password?” I asked while fishing the phone out of my jeans on the floor. “It’s the address,” he said with his eyes still closed.
“You act like I know where I am.”
I handed him the phone to log me into the wifi. After he gave it back to me, I told him I had to check something. I wrapped myself in a blanket and sat at his desk while I scrolled through the results.
Hip 1498: Sold for $210,000.
“Good for you, Strawberry." I went back to bed with a smile on my face.
The people who bought her named her Kathy’s Song. I don’t know why but I assume they were Paul Simon fans. A good sign.
December 2017
December 10, 2017 was a Sunday. I sat alone in my tiny San Jose studio, texting my friends to see if anyone wanted to go to the races with me.
“A horse I delivered is running in a race today and I’d like to see her. Would like to go?” No one could go so I began to wallow in disappointment.
My time in San Jose was not a happy one. Although I made some great friends during this time, I look back at my stint in the Capital of Silicon Valley as a lonely one.
As the waves of loneliness and disappointment began to wash over me, a glimmer of light appeared.
Just go alone. You don’t need others to have fun.
I looked at the clock and saw that I had to leave in 10 minutes to catch the race. I drove the 2 hours up to Berkeley just in time to see Kathy’s Song walk into the saddling paddock. I had purposely dressed in cowboy boots so I looked like I belonged. Even though I wasn’t allowed to be in there, I walked in with confidence and no one stopped me.
I watched her get saddled and I noticed people who were taking photos of her. I introduced myself to them and they were so excited to meet me. They were the owners and had traveled up from San Diego for the day to see her run.
“You have to watch the race with us!”
I watched the race with them and cheered as she crossed the finishing line. They told me I had to be in the photo with them. After the photo they invited me up to the Turf Club for a champagne toast.
“To Kathy’s Song. You’re so special that the person who foaled you out is here to celebrate you.”
I called my Aunt Susie to tell her about my fantastic day on my drive home.
“That’s wonderful, mijo. That’s the universe telling you you’re exactly where you need to be.”