The September Issue

A look at the man behind the man.

I am the luckiest person in the world.

I am writing this on an airplane from Baltimore to San Diego. According to the Flight Tracker on the Southwest app we just crossed over from Oklahoma to Texas. We are racing the light and I’m hopeful we’ll make it in time to see the sun sink into the Pacific. 

I am coming back from an admissions conference, where I was surrounded by 7,000 other admission counselors. I’ve been in this career for nine years now and I’ve made some wonderful friends across the country. Seeing them made me realize how lucky I am to have crossed paths with so many interesting people. I got to finally meet a friend in-person who I’ve worked with over Zoom for 3 years (hi, Sam!!). I ate a very delicious and expensive crab cake. I get the hype now. 2023 is the year of finally liking seafood. 

But ultimately my favorite part of the whole conference was telling people how I met my fiancé. 

We found love in a hopeless place. Moreno Valley College Transfer Day, to be specific. He set up his table next to mine and the rest is History (a major both of our campuses offer). 

The reason I started this newsletter was to get my writing muscle back in shape and to work my way up to a novel. I have a lot of different things to say and I’m excited to share them with the world. I also have to write a book because I’ve had the dedication written in my mind for years now.

Before I met Collin, it was only two lines. There’s a third now. 

For my parents, whose love brought me into this world. 

For my sisters, whose love kept me in it. 

For Collin, whose love gave the word new meaning. 

The writing piece at the end of this newsletter is about this new meaning of love and the power of foraged garlic. 

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September Book Reviews

The Town of Babylon: 4 stars

Who would I recommend this book to: anyone is far enough removed from their high schools years to be able to reflect on them with some kindness and self-compassion

What I liked about this book: OH, BABY. This book hit so close to home. So close that I spent a whole therapy session talking about how closely mirrored my own first “relationship” with a boy. I looked at those years with so much shame for so long and this book helped me apply some compassion to the me from the ages of 17 to 20. This book touched me so deeply that it prompted me to reach out to the boy from my past and we plan to get coffee the next time I’m in Sacramento. Growth!!

It loses a star because it dragged on in some parts, though. 

Medium of the book: A Kindle copy borrowed from the Oakland Public Library 

Judging the book by its cover: A bit boring! I would not have picked it up at a bookstore had I not known what the story was about. 

Bonus: I love this song because it captured a lot of what I felt in high school. This book has the same energy. 

Here The Whole Time: 5 stars

Who would I recommend this to: anyone who wants a gay version of the Taylor Swift song, You Belong With Me.

What I liked about this book: Everything! The fat boy gets the boy. As a former husky boy myself I related to so much of the self-loathing and embarrassment, but it was presented in such a fresh way. I want to live in this book’s universe. 

Medium of the book: Kindle version borrowed from the San Diego County Library

Judging the book by its cover: I like it! Captures gay longing really well. I will eventually buy this book so I can have it on my shelves. 

Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto: 3 stars

Who I would recommend this book to: anyone who needs smut in their life; anyone who is unfamiliar with bisexuality and all the forms it can manifest as; 

What I liked about this book: This is a proudly bisexual book and I enjoyed learning about the author’s own sexual journey. It dragged on a bit and was kind of boring in parts. I also understand the author’s perspective, but I disagree with their stance on unprotected sex. PrEP doesn’t cover everything.

Medium of the book: Kindle version borrowed from the Sacramento Public Library

Judging the book by its cover: Salacious. I liked it.

Landings: A Crooked Creek Farm Year: 4 stars

Who I would recommend this book to: anyone who has ever daydreamed of moving to the country and living off the land. 

What I liked about this book: I love anything set in the Bluegrass region of Kentucky because it is such a special place for me. Halfway through the book I learned that it takes place only 30 minutes away from where I used to live. I loved the art on every page and it made appreciate the hard work of farmers’ even more.

Medium of the book: Hardcover copy borrowed from the San Diego Public Library

Judging the book by its cover: The watercolor art on every page is stunning and I’m glad it was used on the cover, too.

Shortcomings. 2.5 stars

Who I would recommend this book to: people who like books set in the East Bay; people who have friends they don’t like and can’t figure out how to let them go.

What I liked about this book: I liked that it was set in Berkeley. I liked the artist’s style. That was pretty much it. I hate the protagonist very much.

Medium of the book: Hardcover copy borrowed from the San Diego Public Library

Judging the book by its cover: A bit boring! I’d expect something better for a graphic novel.

Lie with me: 5 stars

Who I would recommend this book to: people who ever wonder about the one that got away; people who need to be assured they made the right choice.

What I liked about this book: Oh, this book was dreamy, romantic, and excruciating all at once. The gay experience!

Medium of the book: Audiobook borrowed from the Sacramento Public Library

Judging the book by its cover: The photo matches the energy of the book. Into it.

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My favorite people’s favorite things.

I love the Celebrity Shopping lists on The Strategist and the “10 Essentials” videos on GQ’s YouTube channel. I think you can learn a lot about people based off of their favorite things. This recurring segment highlights some of My Favorite People’s favorite things.

I am the spender in the relationship and Collin is the saver. I attribute a lot of my financial success to him. He balances me out, another thing I love and appreciate about him. Here are his favorite things, as told by him.

10 Thing to Buy because You Deserve Joy

Greetings, divas! Happy September Issue from the covergirl herself. Here is a list of purchasable things that have b(r)ought me joy this year. I mostly made myself laugh writing this, so I hope it does the same for you. And if it doesn’t, well, I know someone who is an expert at pulling things out of very tight spaces and am happy to share your contact information. Benediciones. 🥰

Peacock: Okay, say what we will about the demise of streaming platforms and all of the atrocities of reality television, but I’ve been revisiting old RHONY and Ramona Singer in the year 2008 is one of the only things keeping me sane. 

Libby: I am sadly not much of a reader in my free time, but Alberto has clearly turned that around for me with this app. Yes, he signed me up for a library card. Yes, he downloaded this app to get me to read more than a handful of books annually.  I’m so grateful for him, ugh. We’re so adorable it hurts. Eat your heart out. I’ve now read 12 books this year thanks to the library and this app!

Toe Spacers: Nothing feels more like self care than spacing out your toes for an hour a day. Earlier this summer, I endeavored to the chiropractor to get checked for sciatica and for a potential bunion on my left foot. While the sciatica I trudged through during our trip to the United Kingdom was now untraceable, it was clear that my left foot was in her flop era. My chiropractor told me I inherited stiff ankles, which impacts the way I walk and ultimately, my feet. I now have to do all of these annoying exercises to loosen up my ankles and calves, but my feet have never felt better. Bunions pending.

Bose 700 Noise-Canceling Bluetooth Headphones: I do not wish to be uncomfortable for even a millisecond and will do whatever it takes to achieve that. Call it diva-behavior, but I don’t plan to ruin my life by spending all of my money on my future children (all of my love to the parents and guardians out there though, truly). So, I spend some of my money on things that can help me escape from reality for a bit. Because I can. AND she got a discount!

I flew for 10 hours next to a screaming baby and couldn’t hear a thing. Bliss. 

Thera-P Percussion Massager with Heat: Did I mention I do not wish to be uncomfortable for even a millisecond? As a massage therapist, psychic medium, therapist, and chiropractor have all told me at separate times, I carry a lot of stress and trauma (trowmuh) in my shoulders, upper back, and calves. The tension gets so intense sometimes that, while housesitting for my aunt and uncle, I picked up my uncle’s theragun, used it, and cried out of sweet release. I normally leave their house with at least three new items in my Amazon cart and while I don’t have the budget for a theragun, this handheld massager does the trick. 

SAM-e: I’m not endorsing this as an alternative to antidepressants, but that is what a lot of the Internet claims it to be. This has been a game changer over the last month as I’ve entered the silliest time of year at my job that tends to sour my day-to-day mood. My mood is brighter, my wig is aflame, but it may not be for everyone. Do your research. Talk to your doctor. Don’t be a dummy. Thank you, Tia and Uncle Travis (aforementioned aunt and uncle-- I said what I said about that Amazon cart). 

Knudsen Cottage Cheese: I grew up watching my parents eat cottage cheese and always thought it tasted gross. Well, I guess genetics will catch up with you one way or another. Thanks to TikTok and my Costco membership, I’m now pounding roughly six pounds of cottage cheese a week. I like to mix a tablespoon of brown sugar, ½ teaspoon ground cinnamon, ¼ teaspoon of vanilla, chopped banana, and blueberries as the anchor meal of my day. I like to eat high volume (again, thank you genetics), so I can eat a big bowl of this every morning and not feel super sick afterward. Does anyone know the science behind a lactose intolerant person being able to eat cottage cheese without a problem? I even got Alberto on board and it doesn’t affect him at all. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.

EMDR Therapy: All aboard the coo coo train toward emotional freedom! Nothing makes me feel like I’ve had my brain flossed quite like an EMDR session with my queen, Dr. Chang. Take it from your very real, dark sided, kind-of-friendly neighborhood homosexual (that’s me), using bilateral movement to process trauma works and no one will convince me otherwise. I convinced a friend to start it! Even Dorit from the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills tried it after her home invasion. Can you feel my eyes rolling from where you are? 

Shannon Beador: Okay, I know you can’t buy her, but you can buy into her as a concept. If you know me, then you know that I think Shannon from the Real Housewives of Orange County is the most underrated housewife of all time. Like, I am a STAN and have developed an actual religion around her with my friend Jayne and my future husband. For as long as she has been on the show, she has had a storyline. From suffering through her emotional debris to being “fun Shannon,” she is never not delivering. Unfortunately, Shannon recently drove under the influence of alcohol in Newport, CA this month. She clipped someone’s house and pretended like she was walking her dog, Archie, when the police caught her. She was fooling no one when she was caught and that’s my point. Shannon lives her life with her emotions on her sleeve despite how much she clearly fights them and I think it makes for great television. For the puritans in the room clutching their dollar store pearls, I do not condone drinking and driving and I hope that Shannon eventually leaves the show because reality television is clearly a very toxic environment. Love and light, bitch! Shannon’s blessings. Gaymen!

Cotopaxi Backpack: I thoroughly researched this backpack for our trip to the United Kingdom and it is one of the best purchases I have ever made. The price is up there, but it is worth every penny. I can pack so much into this thing that it functions as luggage that I can carry on my back! I also love that it kind of looks like a giant potato chip from behind. High camp. 

Coffee Beans Purchased at Temple Coffee on S Street in Sacramento, CA: Shout out to my queen barista, who almost always remembers me when I visit Sacramento, Molly. ‘Nuff said.

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Take a bite out of life and be surprised when it tastes like garlic.

For this to work, I’m going to ask you to suspend reality for a bit.

Suddenly you are the eyes in the trees. You are the flies buzzing around anything that moves. You are the patches of wild garlic growing on the water’s edge. You are the water itself, flowing over the falls. You are everything beautiful in the Isle of Skye on June 9, 2023.

You hear them before you seem them. Two men slowly climb up the trail towards the waterfall. The shorter one wears a hat and breathes deeply as he takes it all in. The taller walks slowly a few paces behind. He is taking in all of the information about the local flora and fauna.

It’s clear to see these two men are romantically linked. You can tell in the way they speak to each other. In the way their bodies fall into each other whenever they get close. Like two trees growing together in the same grove, leaning on each other. You can’t tell where one’s branches end and the other’s begin.

They stop at your water’s edge and take in the view. The flow of your waterfall covers up any other noises. It’s just the two of them, in the middle of all your beauty.

“We should go swimming,” shouts the shorter one. The water feels cold, but refreshing. This would be the perfect way to wash the long day off of themselves.

“Mmm, I don’t know. We don’t have swimsuits and I’m scared of what’s in there. Are there leeches in Scotland?” The taller one saw the movie Stand By Me when he was too young and the leeches scene has always stayed with him.

The shorter one assures his companion that they will be fine, but it’s okay. He won’t push it further.

They take in the scene until the topic of conversation turns to your plants. It smells like garlic because there is garlic. Scottish wild garlic, specifically. The shorter one is thrilled and grabs a handful. He takes in their scent before picking off leaves to eat.

His expression changes from joy to bliss. “This is so cool,” he exclaims. He offers some to his companion, who quickly brushes it away. “No, it’s okay." I’m good.”

“Why not? C’mon, try it!”

“I… I don’t know. What if it makes us sick and we’re so far from civilization. I’m just nervous.”

“You’ll be fine. Here, take a bite.”

He relents and closes his eyes. He takes a bite of your garlic and lets himself go.

As he chews, a wave of gratitude washes over him. He thinks to himself how lucky he is.

How lucky to be in this exact moment with this exact person. How lucky he is to have someone who pushes him through fear and encourages to take a bite out of life.

How lucky he is to have someone show him that there’s nothing to be scared of. There is so much to life if you just open yourself up to it.

And that’s when it hits him. What has he been waiting for?

He pulls the longest piece of garlic he can find and starts to tie it together.

The shorter one turns to him and asks if he’s ready to go.

“Wait, not yet. Let me just…”

He lowers himself amongst the rocks on one knee.

“We didn’t get our shit together with rings, but I am just so overcome with love in this moment that I have to ask now. Will you marry me?”

“Are you serious?!”

“Yes. Will you?”

“Of course!”

Their first kiss as fiancés tastes like garlic.