Happy Pride Month. If you haven’t sent a queer person $5 via venmo yet consider yourself homophobic. I don’t make the rules!
This year’s Pride month has been my gayest one yet, in that I’ve spent most of it talking about wedding centerpieces with Collin. Even with decision fatigue eating away at my one precious brain, I know how lucky I am to be in this position.
I was deeply closeted for most of my life so the fact that I’ve spent this month shopping for suits with my future husband is literally a dream come true.
I am so lucky and I am so proud.
June Book Reviews I
Starter Villain: 5 stars! (Nominee for the Golden Martini for Book of the Year)
What I liked about this book: This book made me laugh out loud. It was fun, light, and silly.
Who I’d recommend this book to: anyone who has ever wondered what it would be like to negotiate with unionizing dolphins; cat people; people who want something fun and light.
Medium of the book: An e-book borrowed from Sacramento Public Library.
Judging a book by its cover: I loved it so much that I want to commission a similar version with Martini.
My favorite people’s favorite things.
I love the Celebrity Shopping lists on The Strategist. Here are some of my favorite people’s favorite things.
When I was single I would dream of my future perfect boyfriend. I would think about the trips we would take and the restaurants we would go to. I would sing along to love songs, thinking about the person who would one day give them meaning.
When I met Collin, Golden Hour finally made sense.
One thing I didn’t anticipate in my daydreams was developing relationships with my future partner’s favorite people. Collin’s family welcomed me with open arms and made me feel like I had been there whole time.
One of those people was Collin’s sister, Ailee.
Ailee is an absolute legend. Confident, intelligent, and hilarious are all words that come to mind when I think of her. She is my favorite person to go sticker shopping with and she is always down to try out different lattes with me.
I appreciate her for being herself and for constantly teaching me things. She is my portal into the Gen-Z mindset. She sends me great playlists. She manages Martini’s social media presence.
She is the diva we should all strive to be and I love her.
Please enjoy Ailee’s favorite things in her own words.
Tessemae’s Ranch Dressing: GODDAMN IT I LOVE ME SOME RANCH!!! legit liquid gold, goes on everything and anything. i said what i said. makes my taste buds do a boogie every time.
Cats: meow meow meow meow meow. enough said.
Spotify: yo let’s be fr fr rn. how is anyone spouse to groove funky style without the blessing of spotify. house music or no music. ITS A GROOVE THANG ITS GOT A FUNKY SWANG. go listen to groove thang. i stand by that.
Fluffy: my emotional support dawg. fr fr. as a crazy cat lady he’s my one exception bark bark. he was given to me in the hospital after the car accident *ruh roh* we’ve been inseparable since. we locked in forever n eva. i cherish him most in the world.
FOOD: do i even need to explain myself?? food is always on my mind. “what’s for dinner” is my first thought in the morning. i gotta plan all my other meals around dinner. I need to know if i should go hard during the day because dinner might not be good but if it is i wont eat as much because dinner about to fuck me uppppp!!!!!!
Miss Keisha: oh my fucking god she’s on her last fucking leg. miss keisha is the name of my car from a vine i find really funny and out of pocket. i thought it would be funny to quote the vine for when my car is done for because she’s a 1999 honda civic, she’s old. SHES A GODDAM TROOPER THOUGH! she’s truly miss worldwide taking me everywhere i need to go. we going to UC Davis next!!!! I love her, she’s fast as fuck and pimps in style. keep miss keisha’s name out ur mouth. we will run u over, LA LA LA 💖. let me talk dirt on her name though for a hot second, she do be falling apart now and costing me MONEY but she’s a single mom who works too hard. we love her.
Birkenstocks: my man jesus knew what was up with comfortable sandals. i live, love, breath my berks. i am that girly.
Hydroflasks: my emotional support water bottles!!! i have 4 of them and take them everywhere. if i don’t have my water bottle or chapstick with me im having a bad day!!! they also are a place to put my stickers duhhh!!! why cause for harm to the planet by using plastic water bottle?? 🤮 bye.
Burt’s Bees: don’t be walking around with crusty dusty lips!!! u will never catch me with chapped lips, ever. i love the minty tingly feeling it gives me when i put it on. no other chapstick could. I also use it as a fidget, i love the piping sound the cap makes.
Stickers: we love self expression!! why tell someone abt urself when they can look at ur stickers and just know ur that girly.
Music to be Gay to
If you haven’t listened to Chappell Roan yet, you’re missing out. Please enjoy one of her best songs.