Here comes the groom.
Savoring the moments.
May has been a blur of work travel and wedding planning. So far I’ve learned the most effective ways to charm the Southwest agents at the Oakland Airport (efficiency and kindness!!!!!) and that yellow gold rings really complement my complexion.
On my runs I’ve been thinking about the significance of this transitional time in my life. By the end of this year I will be someone’s husband. We’re inviting a third into our relationship (the government) and that will change things.
I’m trying my best to savor the moments as they come. I’m both excited for the party and nervous to be the center of attention. It’s strange to write that last sentence in a newsletter I write about myself twice a month, but the thought of being half of the center of attention for a full day seems overwhelming at times. I know it will be fun and this all have been worth it.
So in the meantime, I’m being as present as possible for it all. It’s not everyday that I get to schedule cake tastings and ring fittings. This time is as special as it is stressful and I’m so lucky to be able to experience it.
May Book Reviews I
We Could Be So Good: 3.5 stars
What I liked about this book: This was an easy read with a predictably happy ending. It was sweet (sometimes saccharine), but it was a nice change of pace after reading The Fetishist. I was a little disappointed by how tame the sex scenes were, though.
This book made me miss my first Oakland apartment that had access to a fire escape.
Who I’d recommend this book to: anyone who wants a predictable gay book with a happy ending.
Medium of the book: An e-book borrowed from the San Diego County Library.
Judging a book by its cover: Fine. Neither good nor bad, though the characters are different heights in the story and the men on the cover seem to be the same height. Continuity error!
Real Americans: 5 stars! (Nominee for the Golden Martini for Book of the Year)
What I liked about this book: AN INTERGENERATIONAL HISTORICAL DRAMA WITH A TOUCH OF MAGICAL REALISM?! YES, PLEASE!! This book felt like it was written specifically for me because it combines so many things I love. This was inspiring to read from a writer’s perspective.
One of my favorite things about reading is learning about historical events I never learned about in school. I knew next to nothing about the Chinese Cultural Revolution but this book made me feel how devastating it was to experience on an individual’s level.
Sometimes I wonder about the version of me that exists in a universe where I’m a high school AP English teacher. In that universe I would assign this book as summer reading.
This book also covered genetics and biotechnology. There is another universe where CHEM 2B didn’t absolutely obliterate me and I pursued a career in ecological genetics.
This book tickled so many parts of my brain all at once and I loved it so much. OMG, and it had a Sacramento reference! The perfect book, really.
Who I’d recommend this book to: anyone who has ever realized time is a flat circle; anyone who dislikes tech CEOs; anyone interested in learning about the Chinese Cultural Revolution; anyone who ever considered a career in genetics / genetic counseling.
Medium of the book: An e-book borrowed from the San Diego County Library.
Judging a book by its cover: It was the thing that attracted me to book in the first place! Love it. Again, this book was deeply my shit. I will buy a physical version of it eventually for my bookshelf.
My favorite people’s favorite things.
I love the Celebrity Shopping lists on The Strategist. Here are some of my favorite people’s favorite things.
One of the most pleasant surprises of entering my relationship with Collin was developing relationships with his favorite people. I had met friends of some of my past partners, but they disappeared into the ether as soon as I unfollowed them on Instagram.
One of the reasons why I knew Collin was a great match was because he had people in his life who I immediately vibed with. Mel is one of those people.
We are on the same wavelength (January Capricorns) and we both hate people the perfect amount where it doesn’t make us bad people. I know it’s real with Mel because our silences don’t feel uncomfortable. She is fun at every energy level, whether it’s sitting in silence at the park with books closed in front of us or dancing so enthusiastically at a winery that the live band starts dedicating all their songs to us.
She is a goddess, both inside and out, and we are all lucky to be living at the same time as her. She’s also the person that has visited us the most in San Diego, and I mean, it’s not a competition, but if it were she would be winning.
I am thankful any time someone says yes to being one of my favorite people on here. When I asked Mel for her list, I knew I was going to get a good one. Enjoy Mel’s favorite things in her own words:
1. I never got to have a MySpace page, so my heart insisted this be a top 8 instead of a top 10. Forgive me. Let's start with the Parkhouse Eatery of San Diego fame. The brunch potatoes? The cocktails? The company? There is no place better. One of my favorite dining experiences in recent memory. Visit Alberto and Collin because you'll have a wonderful time, sure, but mostly so they can take you here.
2. These next few entries are included because this may be the only time I'll ever get to be a beauty influencer. When you watch enough YouTube makeup content, you grow to assume that someday someone's going to ask. You didn't, but that's not my problem. First up is the Beauty of Joseon sunscreen. As a fair-skinned girly, I have no choice but to be sunscreened at all times. It doesn't mean I LIKE IT, though. Itchy eyes, white cast, runny makeup — it's taken years to find a solution, and this product is it. It's glowy, it doesn't have a weird smell, there's no residue left on my face, it's pretty affordable, and, of course, it actually works!
3. This next one is a new addition to my rotation, but it's quickly become a favorite. It's the e.l.f. Halo Glow highlighter. I have dry, PARCHED skin, and the SoCal desert climate does me no favors in this department. This product is my fake-it-til-you-make-it solution. Just a few drops on my cheeks and suddenly I look juicy and hydrated. It definitely has a shine, but it's not so bold that you couldn't use it on the daily. Plus, it's less than 15 bucks for a bottle that's probably going to last me a lifetime.
4. One more, for good measure. This is the Benefit clear eyebrow gel. If you know me, you know eyebrows are everything to me. I can and will work them into any conversation. What can I say? I am loyal to my Middle Eastern roots. I have tried every brow product under the sun, and this is the best one. It is so lightweight and thin, so easy to use, completely invisible, but it will hold your brows in place ALL. DAY. LONG.
5. Next on the list is an oldie but a goodie. A really big, tall tree. Any tree, I'm not picky. My daily walks outside are essential for my overall well-being, and my favorite part is tree-watching. I've lived in this neighborhood all my life, but new ones still catch my eye every day. Next time you're on a walk, make an effort to notice the trees. I bet there's a bunch you've walked by a thousand times without taking a moment to appreciate. My very favorites are the eucalyptus and Monterey cypress trees all over San Francisco.
6. I can't make an appearance on Well-Read and Overfed without suggesting a read. My most recent one (and first in a very long time) is The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. It is such a short, easy, and heart-warming read. I would recommend it to anyone who is trying to get back into reading but is having trouble finding somewhere to start. I was able to finish it in just a few lunch breaks, and it left me feeling motivated to get my next book started (Martyr!, by the way, a Certified Alberto FavoriteTM). (Editor’s note: Martyr! is also a nominee for the Golden Martini)
7. This one is both a favorite and also a Call to Action. A recent obsession of mine has been a solid 0.38mm gel pen. There's fine, there's very fine, there's even ultra fine, but 0.38mm is the finest of them all. I love very few things the way I love a good pen. I don't have a specific suggestion because I'm still on the hunt for "The One." This is where you come in. I'm calling on my fellow stationary nerds to help me find it. I prefer a cap to a clicky. Thanks in advance. (Editor’s note: Please contact Alberto directly if you have suggestions. This is a team effort now and I really want to us to find The One because I want one, too.)
8. By chance last night I happened upon some snapshots from a legendary photoshoot in Casa McLavalos from last year (see above). I couldn't go without mentioning it. Laugh with your friends! Be creative, be silly, and please leave any urge to cringe at the door. Document it all. We are only young once, and this is the tightest our foreheads will ever be (pre-Botox, of course). These moments deserve to be immortalized. I had to end on a corny note, okay?!
The joys of wedding planning so far
I do not enjoy planning events. When I traveled abroad alone I would never plan out the trip. I would only book my first hostel for 2 days and then go with the flow from there. I’m thankful that Collin is not that way because nothing would get done otherwise.
There have been moments that have come up during wedding planning that I did not anticipate enjoying as much as I have. Here are some of them.
Thinking of ways to bring up Martini as much as possible even though she’s not invited
Looking at all the deliciously tacky gay wedding cake toppers on Etsy
Experiencing the different sales tactics in jewelry stores
Watching Collin’s leadership and creativity soar throughout the planning process
Creating different playlists and imagining all the funny configurations of people on the dance floor from both of our lives
Having to think critically about what kind of suit will give me the most flattering silhouette while also being comfortable enough for me to literally roll around on the dance floor (a signature wedding dance floor move of mine)
Creating a registry and daydreaming about the meals I will cook in the stainless steel pans I put on there
Thinking about what I’m going to include in my vows
Wondering how much I’ll cry during the ceremony and being worried it will cross over from sweet to concerning
Looking at gay wedding toppers again. Who buys this?
