The Importance of B.B.B.
Books, Brunch, and Bitching.
January 2025 was a challenging month. The fires throughout SoCal coupled with the new administration has left me in a funk. I’m trying my best, but it’s been a hard few weeks and I am excited for the calendar to flip tomorrow.
I read six books this month, which is a good indication of how often I felt the need to escape my present reality and slip into someone else’s perspective. Books are a great way to give your own internal monologue a break and I highly recommend you pick one up the next time you feel the need to doom scroll.
Once you’ve read a book, the next step I recommend is planning a B.B.B. - a Books and Bitching Brunch. You meet with a friend over brunch and discuss the books you’ve read and give each other the space to bitch about whatever you want.
My friend Sam and I created the B.B.B. in 2017 and it’s one of my favorite things in the world.
The horrors of 2025 will continue to reveal themselves throughout the year, but please remember to find the joy where you can. A B.B.B. is a great place to start and I’d happily join you if you need one.
January Book Reviews
Interesting Facts about Space: 3 stars
What I liked about this book: This book made me feel better about never getting into the True Crime genre. I also liked the facts about space sprinkled throughout the book, which were genuinely interesting!
Who I’d recommend this book to: any anxious person who is into True Crime; people with complicated feelings towards half-siblings.
Medium of the book: Audiobook
Judging a book by its cover: Boring! This book deserves a better cover.
Greta & Valdin: 4 stars
What I liked about this book: The best part about this book was its characters. I would happily read a book that focused on any of the people in this book. This book ended with more ambiguity than I expected, but I ultimately enjoyed it. Relationships are complicated and change just like the people in them. This captured that truth in a way that I found warm and optimistic.
Who I’d recommend this book to: anyone who enjoys the Normal Gossip podcast; anyone who likes ambiguous endings.
Medium of the book: E-book
Judging a book by its cover: LOVE. I’d buy a big print of it and hang it prominently in my living room, hoping it conveys that I’m the kind of person that is happy to have fruits as dessert.
Orbital: 3 stars
What I liked about this book: This book was not for me but the writing is objectively incredible. I listened to this for a book club and it won the Booker Prize last year, which I can see why.
Who I’d recommend this book to: anyone who likes Outer Space; anyone who needs to remember we are nothing but a blip on this big blue circle.
Medium of the book: Audiobook
Judging a book by its cover: Objectively beautiful. It should be the cover of a Calculus textbook.
Monstrilio: 5 stars (Nominee for the Golden Martini for Book of the Year)
What I liked about this book: EVERYTHING. Wow, I loved this book. 2025 is the year of challenging myself and I picked this book up from the Horror aisle, a place I usually never go to. This book is body horror, queer liberation, and meditations on grief all at once.
There was only one scene I had to speedread through because it was too much for my delicate constitution.
Who I’d recommend this book to: anyone who has ever been turned into a monster by grief; Trendy gay men who have any of following city acronyms in their bios: CDMX, NYC, BER; anyone who wants to dip a toe into the Horror novel waters.
Medium of the book: Paperback
Judging a book by its cover: GORGEOUS. Perfect. Cunty ugliness.
Pony Confidential: 3 stars
What I liked about this book: There were more layers than I originally expected. I did not expect it to cover the American justice system and animal abuse in such critical ways, which was a pleasant surprise. This book dragged on for too long, though. It is an 11-hour audiobook and I think the story could’ve been condensed to 9 hours.
Who I’d recommend this book to: horse people.
Medium of the book: Audiobook
Judging a book by its cover: Cute, but I would’ve liked an image of the protagonist pony instead.
The Island of Missing Trees: 4 stars
What I liked about this book: I always love a non-human narrator and this book has such a strong one. The story unfolded in an interesting way and I appreciated how much I learned about the history of Cyprus.
Who I’d recommend this book to: Anyone who talks to their plants; anyone who wants to learn about the Cyprus conflict; anyone who is trying to outrun their generational trauma.
Medium of the book: Paperback
Judging a book by its cover: I like it! Makes me want to eat a Fig Newton.
My Favorite People’s favorite things.
I love the Celebrity Shopping lists on The Strategist and the “10 Essentials” videos on GQ’s YouTube channel. I think you can learn a lot about people based on their favorite things. This recurring segment highlights some of My Favorite People’s favorite things.
Of course I had to have the co-founder of the B.B.B. as this month’s Favorite Person. World, I’m pleased to introduce you to Sam.
Sam and I met in college when she began dating Kevin. She clicked with all of us in the friend group immediately and I was so happy to see her on a regular basis. She immediately bypassed being my friend’s girlfriend and just became another friend.
I was relieved that she stayed local for law school so our friendship continued to grow post-undergrad. When I got dumped by my first boyfriend, she and Kevin took me out to the gay bars to lift my spirits.
We started at the Merc (every gay from Sacramento just shuddered reading that) and I had 2 Maker’s Mark on the rocks. When I chugged the second one, Sam gently said, “we all do what we have to cope.”
Two things stand about that night 11 years ago: how big of a mess I made in the tequila bar bathroom at the end of night and Sam’s love. It was a dark time of my life, but Sam’s friendship was the light that kept me going.
Years later we both found ourselves living in the Bay Area and the B.B.B. was invented. Sam’s taste in books most aligns with my own and I hold her recommendations in the highest regard. She gave me The Rachel Incident, which I have passed onto dozens of others because it’s one of my all-time favorites.
She also has excellent taste in brunch spots and I still dream about the rainbow potatoes we’ve shared at Kitchen Story. Sam is an icon, a forever friend, and now officially a Favorite Person.
Enjoy her list of Favorite Things after a photo of our most iconic B.B.B. ever.
To begin: It is the honor of a lifetime to be a favorite person.
1. Normal Gossip (Podcast): Normal Gossip is the friend with tea that we all deserve. Each episode, host Kelsey McKinney tells a special guest a low stakes but wild story about the rich tapestry that is life in the presence of other human beings. People are WILD. Every episode is good, and some episodes are so good that you should definitely use the bathroom before listening lest you pee your pants from laughing so hard. There is a hard and fast rule that no dogs will be harmed in any of the stories told. Also, the podcast is produced by Defector, which is an employee-owned media company committed to transparency, which is pretty rad. Support journalism, laugh your pants off.
2. Popcorn maker: Freshly popped popcorn is the perfect snack. Microwave popcorn is okay, and stovetop popcorn is great but it comes with the lead lining of having to clean up afterward. Enter the Presto Poplite popper. So easy, no clean up, perfect popcorn every time. Add whatever toppings/seasonings/dressings you want.
3. Trying new ways to move: I hate an open gym. But I love a group exercise class. And while I'm pretty loyal to my local HIIT/Barre studio, sometimes I get stuck in a rut where I just don't want to go do the thing. Whenever I'm feeling stuck, trying something new gets me out of the house. In the past I've tried hot yoga, cardio barre, various indoor and outdoor bootcamps, focused weightlifting, and probably some other stuff I've forgotten and/or blocked out. Usually I'm really bad at it the first time I try but if those lululemon clad bitches can do it, then this lululemon clad bitch CAN TOO. If group ex isn't your thing, maybe a walk or bike ride somewhere new? For the winter gift-giving holidays this year, I asked for a gift card to a pilates studio I drive by all the time. Will I fall off the reformer? ...Yeah, probably.
4. Credit Card points: We all have to/get to buy stuff (thanks, capitalism!). We all need a credit score (thanks again, American capitalism). Using a credit card points ecosystem is, IMO, the best way to make this capitalist hellscape work (ever so slightly) for you.
My two favorite ways to use points are: upgrade an experience for something I want to do and am willing to pay but not willing/able to pay for an upgrade for (i.e. use points to cover the cost of a nicer room or a nicer hotel on a trip I want to take anyhow) or completely cover something I don't really want to do (i.e. plane tickets for a family wedding I'm not really looking forward to). In shorter words: either treat myself or relieve myself. I'm a Chase points girlie, but there are a lot of different systems based on your individual spending habits.
5. Costco: My 2.5 year old son loves Costco. He thinks everything comes from there. Recently I asked him, "where do you get all this energy from?" and he screamed, "COSTCO!!!" and then went running down the hall. The thing is -- he's lowkey right. Costco has almost everything, they're on the "not bad" side of corporate ethics, and they usually have clean bathrooms. Membership is only $65/year and I can basically guarantee that you will far surpass the fee in savings in your first 3 visits. My personal favorite Costco buys: dishwasher pods, wine, Kirkland brand joggers that are a knockoff of the Vuori performance jogger for 1/8 of the price, slippers, and generic OTC medicines. The only downside to Costco membership: at some point, you will impulse buy something completely outrageous. It's a small (hopefully!) price to pay for the glory of warehouse shopping.
6. An insulated coffee mug: A few months ago, in a blaze of fury after drinking yet another lukewarm cup of coffee during a meeting that would.not.end., I ordered this insulated coffee mug. I don't personally use the lid unless I'm actively walking around because I think it keeps it too hot, but the insulation alone keeps your hot bev of choice from going cold in like 10 minutes. You also don't have to worry about your mug breaking if your pet's overactive tail knocks the empty cup off the table (dog) or just pushes it off the table because they love chaos (cat).
7. Hypochlorous acid (force of nature) (+ grove collaborative bottles): As I mentioned, I have a toddler which means that I am engaged in a constant battle with germs and dirt and all manner of gross stuff. I recently discovered hypochlorous acid and it's been a game changer. Hypochlorous acid is soooooo safe (you can literally use lower concentrations of it as skincare) but has the sanitizing and disinfecting power of bleach. The only downside is that because HoCL is a weak acid, it degrades relatively quickly (shoutout to high school chemistry) so you can't really stock up at the store. However, the good news is that it's ridiculously easy to make at home with an electrolyzer (I use the Force of Nature System) and you get to feel like a smart little chemist while doing it. The bottle that comes with the FoN kit sucks so I use a bottle from Grove Collaborative instead. Spray away, friends.
8. The Libby App: So you like supporting your local library but you don't like carrying hardback library books around? Me too! Enter Libby! The Libby App allows you to borrow ebooks from your local library and send them straight to your e-reader (kindle, kobo, etc.). You can put yourself in the queue for tons of books at a time, and you get an easy push notification to your phone when it's your turn. I read 52 books last year, and 45 of them were via the Libby App. All you need is an active library card!
9. Maldon salt: Nothing like a little fancy NaCl to spice up your life. Enter beautiful, luxurious, crunchy Maldon sea salt, which you can most likely buy at your grocery store of choice. I love to sprinkle it on homemade pizza crust, chocolate chip cookies, and avocado toast.
10. A Hammock: If you have any outdoor space at all, you need a hammock. It can be cheap. It can be unattractive. But if you hop in the hammock on a warm day with your favorite podcast in your ears or a good book in hand, you will be transcended to a higher plane of existence. Trust me -- get one. (Bonus: if you have a baby, your hammock will double as an outdoor swing that you both get to rock in. Win-win!)
Embrace the Change
It’s been a long time since Sam and I have had an official B.B.B. The format has changed now and more people are invited. What used to be just us at a brunch place in San Francisco has morphed into walks around Land Park with donuts and her son.
I don’t know what the rest of this year is going to look like, but I’m going to embrace the changes as much as I can. Like I said in November, I’m going to continue to thrive out of pure spite and I hope you join me.
Love this "interview" with your Favorite Person! She is my favorite person this week for throwing my Favorite Daughter the Bachelorette party of C's dreams. Hey, if you ever need a (North San Diego County/Southern Riverside County) Intergenerational BBB, this old lady will take the call!! I love all three Bs!
I love Normal Gossip!!