Nomenclature
an Alberto by any other name is just as gay
Happy birthday, newsletter!
I have been writing Well-Read and Overfed for a year now and it’s been even better and bigger than I imagined it to be. I have poured so much of myself into these newsletters, which has been both exhilarating and terrifying.
My heart swells whenever someone shares what their favorite things would be. I love when someone tells me they read a book that I recommended on here.
To all of you who have subscribed and read a year’s worth of my words, I want to give you my most sincere thanks. Your support, encouragement, and love have kept me going.
Thank you.
When you look back on your life, how do you define your different eras? When did the different chapters of your life start and end?
Are they defined by the places you’ve lived? Is it by boyfriends? Maybe the way you styled your hair or the bike you rode?
I define mine by my different names.
In the beginning God created the heavens and Tito. In Spanish, the suffix “ito” is added to refer the smaller version of something. I am named after my dad so I became Albertito. Tito for short. There are few people who still call me Tito who are not my family. One of the few is my pre-school best friend who has grown up to be a caramel corn tycoon (I highly recommend the chocolate drizzle version).
Tito became Albert in 1st grade when Mrs. Gross told me Tito was unprofessional and I should go by a different name. Mrs. Gross was weird. She once made an example of a girl’s lunchbox and went on a 30-minute rant about how the Spice Girls were sent by the devil to tempt Catholics away from the Lord.
But she also let me bring a pony to school once so she wasn’t all bad.
Albert became Alberto when I went to college and saw that “Alberto” was the name on the basketball door decoration my RA had made for my dorm.
I went by either Albert or Alberto throughout college depending on what version of myself I presented. I was Albert in Animal Science spaces, where I was surrounded by a lot of straight cowboys and mean horse girls. Albert was the version of myself I slipped into when I needed to pass for straight or more palatable for the white people.
But even then Albert still experienced joy! Albert became friends with Spencer, Crista, Marie, Chris, Sam, and so many other wonderful people I still love. They are all future Favorite People.
I was Alberto in my tour guide world where I leaned in heavy with my Diverse Perspective. Alberto is the version of me who grew in college. Alberto became friends with people like Jana, Emily, and Emma. Alberto was the version of me slowing creeping out of the closet.
After Alberto came a bunch of different names that I would sometimes lose track of. The Kentucky Grindr era.
There are men all across the great Commonwealth of Kentucky that got to know me very intimately. But they never got to know my real name. Somewhere in Bourbon County there’s a man who remembers me as Daniel*. Another man in Clark County thinks of me fondly (probably) as Adam**. And then there was the couple in Fayette County who I visited with such regularity that they started to write my visits on their shared calendar in the kitchen. On those dates in the calendar they would write “David***” with a heart dotting the “i”.
These are the metrics by which I measure the passage of time in my life.
If you met me as an Albert or as a Tito, I welcome you to still call me that. If you are still in my life, there is nothing but love there. I’ve grown, but those past versions of me are still my roots.
You can’t write Alberto without writing Albert first.
*Daniel, inspired by Daniel Plainview from There Will Be Blood
**Adam, inspired by East of Eden
***David, inspired by David Fisher from Six Feet Under
August Book Reviews
Wandering Stars: 4 stars
What I liked about this book: Historical fiction is my favorite genre of literature and the first part of this book was my favorite. It is Native American history so it is inheritely bleak and difficult to get through sometimes, but I think it’s necessary to know the context of the land we live on. The latter part of the book takes place in Oakland, a special place for me. There was a particular scene that took place next to the Lake Merritt bird sanctuary that made me especially giddy. I love when a book describes a place I love with the same amount of tenderness that I feel towards it.
Who I’d recommend this book to: anyone who would like to learn more about Native American history; anyone who lives in the East Bay; anyone who like motifs sprinkled throughout the entirety of a book; anyone who has been affected by gun violence or substance abuse.
Medium of the book: e-book
Judging a book by its cover: I love this shade of teal and the bright bursts of orange. Are they stars or are they bullet holes? I think they’re both!
Victim: 5 stars
What I liked about this book: WOW, I LOVED THIS BOOK. This articulated a feeling I’ve felt ever since I entered the world of higher education. This book is being marketed as a satire, but every ounce of it felt real to me.
Who I’d recommend this book to: Anyone in higher education, ESPECIALLY admissions; anyone who has ever been to an identity-based resource center; anyone who wants a juicy book club pick; anyone who has ever told me I say my own name incorrectly.
Medium of the book: audiobook (highly recommend)
Judging a book by its cover: Aesthetically it’s fine, but I love the dominoes because of what they mean to the story.
Long Island Compromise: 5 stars! (Nominee for the Golden Martini for Book of the Year)
What I liked about this book: Wow, this book was stupendous. I loved the writing, the psychology of the characters, and how much research went into this book. It had a satisfying ending and there was a reveal that made me gasp. A wonderful book that I think is one of the top 3 books I’ve read this year so far.
Who I’d recommend this book to: people who love family dramas; Jewish American Princesses; people with anxiety; people who think that they can outrun generational trauma; people with any connection to Long Island.
Medium of the book: e-book
Judging a book by its cover: It’s giving American Apparel to me.
My Favorite People’s favorite things.
I love the Celebrity Shopping lists on The Strategist and the “10 Essentials” videos on GQ’s YouTube channel. I think you can learn a lot about people based off of their favorite things. This recurring segment highlights some of My Favorite People’s favorite things.
My dad has met a lot of my friends over the years. He doesn’t remember most of them. There is only one that he asks about every time I see him.
“How is Kayla doing? She’s my favorite.”
My dad and I share this Favorite Person, which is the highest praise I can think to give a person. Kayla is one of the people Albert met and who Alberto still loves.
I met Kayla in our senior Honors Physics class and immediately bonded over our shared love of the teacher (hottest teacher I’ve ever had) and our complete lack of comprehension of the course material. I held onto her friendship tightly as we persevered through the class. I absolutely hated that class and yet I still looked forward to it every day. D Set Physics was when I got to hang out with my new best friend.
Our friendship continued to grow even when we went our separate ways for college. I stayed in NorCal while she moved down to SoCal to become a volleyball star. I would see her when her team would play against UC Davis. I betrayed my fellow Aggies and cheered for her every time.
She was always inherently cool but became even cooler after college. She has lived in Denmark for over a decade now and it makes me so happy that our friendship has persevered through the physical distance. She’s a person that makes me feel cooler just by association.
Kayla is my favorite person to try to make laugh. Like a fine wine, her wit has just gotten better with age. When I make her laugh it feels like such an accomplishment. Another reason why I love her is that she has always matched my freak. It’s so refreshing to be able to let your freak flag with someone and Kayla has always joined me on that wavelength.
When I started this newsletter Kayla was one of the first people I thought for this section. It’s been such an honor to witness her grow over the last 16 years. In addition to being one of the best people I know, she is also a wife and mother now. I can’t imagine a greater gift than having her as a mom.
Kayla is an absolute delight and it’s about damn time you all met her. Please enjoy Kayla’s favorite things in her own words.
I love Alberto so much and like the rest of the amazing people who've done this for his newsletters, I'm honored to be a part of it. Here are some of my favorite things!
Banter: I love chit chat, especially if you’re funny. It’s one of the reasons I needed to befriend Albert so quickly (that and our mutual crush on our AP physics teacher, a class we had absolutely no business being in). Nothing better than a funny friend who forces you to keep up!
Getting and Giving Flowers: Maybe this is controversial, but be real, have you ever received flowers (knowingly or unknowingly) and been upset about it? The range! The beauty! The way they don’t stay in your apartment forever!
True crime/generally scary things: I know this is really a thing right now to be into true crime, but this is a nearly lifelong interest of mine and I fully blame my dad for letting me watch zodiac killer docs and the show “haunted castles of Ireland” with him when I was like 10. And for my uncle explaining the golden state killers MO when I was ALSO 10 and in FOLSOM when he told me…who was raising me?!? Anyway…if true crime is already your thing, you know the good podcasts. If not, may I suggest:
Criminal, if you wanna hear the most soothing “I wish you could read me bedtime stories” voice ever by Phoebe Judge.
Gossip: I love a juicy family drama story. I love a little something to gnaw on while walking around my neighborhood. There is no such thing as TMI in my world - I want multiple 5-minute voice notes. If you also enjoy some piping hot tea (nothing mean spirited and yes there’s a difference) then you're in luck because I have another podcast rec: normal gossip podcast - listen to this one as an entry point if you haven’t listened yet because Laci Mosley is hilarious.
Having and Being Had: Had to do a book rec. Honestly, when I recommend any kind of media I feel like that tweet that's like "Oh no, I said I loved the book, not that it was good". But I read this a few years ago and it really resonated and I find myself going back to it often. It's easy to read, explains capitalism and how we're all part of it in relatable anecdotes, and has a nice cover :)
A Kanelsnurre from Meyers Bakery in Copenhagen: Inspired by best bites! I need a minute alone after eating one of these fresh out of the oven. It’s so good. The best pastry in the city, period. And Copenhagen is a pastry capitol.
Aeropress:I hate that I'm sort of the embodiment of those mugs that are like “don’t talk to me til I’ve had my coffee” but here we are. This allows me to make a really good cup of coffee very quickly and also prevents me from drinking an entire pot alone. Bless it. I’d love an espresso machine, too, but I guess I’ll prioritize paying my mortgage for now.
Maximalism: I’ve recently become a little obsessed with these IG/TikTok reaction videos to people renovating really cool, old homes into modern grey hellscapes of influencerdom. I don't care if you're afraid of mold in the 1920's bathroom, keep the tiles!! Anyway, out with the grey and in with the color and character (this is not to be confused with hoarding or clutter which will absolutely send me into a spiral).
Percale Cotton Tekla bedsheets: These bedsheets are the truth. The price tag initially made me choke, but omg. They get better with every wash. They’re so soft. They have fun colors. I recently bought a set that is brown, pink, and off white and my bed looks like a Neapolitan ice cream cone (hello maximalism!!) and it makes me so happy. I also spend a lot of time in bed because I have a 4 month old baby…and just love nice things and am a little irresponsible with money.
Weleda skin food light: Listen, I want to be a skincare girl so bad. I’ve tried. I’ve spent the money. Ultimately, I wash my face and use this moisturizer and then fall immediately asleep. It's been 4 years and simply put, I couldn't live without it. It’s pregnancy and breastfeeding safe as well, if you know anyone who's in need of that sort of thing.
The Joys of August
In the first edition of this newsletter I wrote about how much I hate the month of August. It’s still not my favorite month, but August 2024 was an absolute slay.
Here are the moments of delight I experienced during this month.
Dancing alone in my hotel room after I got a promotion at work
Putting myself outside of my comfort zone by playing in an adult dodgeball league for a night
Finally trying the Samin Nosrat pizza from Square Pie Guys
Spending a late afternoon on a train with Emma
Booking a spa day with my sister and calling that my bachelor party
Getting donuts and walking around Land Park with Sam, Kevin, and Arthur and calling that my bachelor party, too.
Getting coffee with Kristen and her lovely husband Nolan and calling that my bachelor party, too.
Trying out different coffee shops in Portland with Collin and Ailee
Eating huckleberries out of a bag while I walk around the PSU Farmers’ Market
Dancing to Party Rock Anthem with new and old friends
Watching Blackish with my dad until we both fall asleep on the couch
Finally getting my Baggu horse and naming it Shannon Beadorse after my favorite Real Housewife
Tito would have loved this bag.
I love that I got to know you and love you through Crista during your Alberto era. You will always hold a soft spot in my heart. Happy Wedding Day coming up soon!! I got one getting married this September too!